Damn Ronin,

look at your girl….

Law enforcement sources tell us the Seaside Heights PD busted Snooki moments ago for disorderly conduct. The details of that conduct are unclear.

We’re told Snooki — real name Nicole Polizzi — is currently in police custody.

Earlier in the day, Snooki was partying on the beach with a beer bong … only she was filling it up with Coca-Cola.  We’re told she was also seen at a local bar taking “body shots.”

wow...and what redeeming features are here?

Why is this chick making a bunch of money?  More important, why should we care?

Ole girl got some money and then it went to her head (and her gut)  The one thing that might have been attractive is lost.  Her grill was not much to look at and the big frames make her look like an old grandmother.

Looks like MTV bought into a some fake gold, fugazi as the guidettes say…

Get your prep walk down girl...

Here is another great action shot of her falling all over the place.

Ronin, what did you see in this trainwreck?

This might be the only thing that she is good for…

I bet she can fit the whole thing in her mouth...Just dont bite it...

Here is some music to ride out to Snooki…

Congrats!

From my time teaching, not all attention is good attention.  But, you finally are famous enough to have a parody porn made about you and your guidos.

“Jersey Shore” has achieved pop-culture immortality. Production has just wrapped on “Jersey Shore XXX: A Porn Parody,” starring Taryn Thomas as Snooki,

Looks like they got the clevage part right....

John Espizedo as “Mike the Predicament” and Veronica Rayne as “Wow J.”

WOW J...that is pretty creative...

Thomas — who grew up in New Jersey and spent summers in Seaside Heights, where the MTV show is filmed — said, “We chose the best guidos and guidettes in the industry. They parodied the ‘Jersey Shore’ crew perfectly.” Actually, the porn stars look more sophisticated and less vulgar than their reality counterparts. The movie is out next month.

I always say why write fiction when there is so much history out there that has never been told. No writer could ever compete with the randomness of real humans interacting and events colliding to create previous unimaginable situations. This is why I love history and reality TV. Not all reality TV. That would be ridiculous. Just the stuff that appeals to me, just as some history topics I have no interest and others I can’t get enough. Reality TV when done well is a no script live action soon-to-be history lesson. e.g. Snooki gets hit. As random as real life a Long Island school teacher with no prior record of violence punches a young woman at a bar over shots of alcohol. WOW! Where did that come from? The douche-bag that punched Snooki had no clue he would punch a girl the morning before he acted so reckless. Nor did Snooki have any idea that before the days end she would be worried that she may have lost a tooth. The reality of it all is that even with a film crew and visible mics the random real life events proceed without a hitch. There lies the “RUB”.
Whenever a non fan of Reality TV barks its always about how fake the shows are and thus they have no interest. Yes, some shows are less real than others. Some revolve around a contest of some kind. Others a prize. But other TV programing besides news shows are completely fake. They are made up by some douche-bag. Then re-worked by another. Think about it: What makes fiction good? Answer; It’s authentic. Even science fiction has to relate to the same part of your brain that rules your real life experiences and relationships. Isn’t that the point of all fiction anyway? Without such why would you be interested?
As in life we come home and tell or friends and family the interesting real-to-life stories of the day. “You wouldn’t believe what happened to me today” or “I just saw the most amazing thing happen”. Then we proceed to tell the story as accurate as possible painting the story with details so as to get the listener to imagine they witnessed the events themselves.
Jersey Shore appeals to me on the same level. Probably for a number of reasons. Probably a few that are honorable and others that aren’t so much. Either way the participants are interacting sans script just as they would in their real lives. The more real it becomes the more appealing it becomes.
The “Real World”, MTV’s first reality TV show, is almost as predictable as the Chargers in the playoffs. Everyone knows what type of participants will take part and why they were chosen. The black guy, the Gay guy, the loose woman, the Christian. Jersey Shore on the other hand was not only new to the viewer but also included a subculture that few knew anything about. That is the East Coast Italian youth that dominate the areas of Staten Island, New Jersey, and Long Island NY. Learning about this culture through the eyes of youngsters with no hang-ups or shame is masterful. The viewer is served a slice of life uncorrupted by Hollywood. Sure there are edits and re-edits but the action and speech is as real as can be. Unlike the typical Hollywood scripted shows so many of the Reality TV haters complain about all the time. Does “What a fake ending that show had” or “”That would never happen in real life” ring a bell. Those same haters are looking for a suspension of disbelief that doesn’t exist in scripted shows. Yet at the same time they (dis)miss reality TV.

Reality TV has an authentic place in our broader culture that is going nowhere but up. No one knows what will happen next on Reality TV not even the participants. But you will have to tune in to witness.

BTW, I love the fact that Snooki, the victim mind you, told the MTV advertisers that pulled their ads to “go fu-k themselves” How could someone hate on that??? In those few words Snooki crystallized my entire point. She is saying: this is my reality, this is my life, how dare you pretend that these events did not happen and you are TOO GOOD for them. They did and the cameras were rolling.

I am not shocked that some MTV show has some people looking for their 15 minutes of fame.  What is shocking is that people I know watch this show and even DVR it, to make sure that they will have a chance to see it.  I thought we were over the so called “reality TV phase, but we are clearly not.  This is a way to maximize your 15 minutes, but nothing positive will come out of it.

Tyson would eat Snooki like a midnight snack. The dudes look too metrosexual. Lifting your shirt....really? You look like you have a little too much sugar in the tank, if you know what I mean...

One of the main characters on the show is a girl that is 4 feet 10 inches tall.  Her name is Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. This girl is a mess. Start with the nickname.  Snooki?  Really?  I don’t think that is the name that I would want people to know me as.  When you 15 minutes are up, and trust they are coming to a close, you will only have random people coming up to you when you are out working as a vet (her choice, not mine) or on the pole ( again her choice, because really, what other future does she have?  How many of the Real World people have gone on to fame and fortune? and for the record,  I am okay with that choice) that will scream your name and laugh? (at you, not with you)

That is not OK! by me. Look at the hair....SMDH. Nice pose, you look like one of Cheetah Woods playthings...

Nicole “Snooki” is a self proclaimed “guidette” from Marlboro, New York outside of Poughkeepsie and an aspiring veterinary technician. She describes her ideal man as one who fits the guido stereotype and enters the experience hoping to meet the man of her dreams.

SO I am going to go out on a limb and say that this guido is not the man of your dreams.

I don’t want a woman that cannot defend herself or who gets herself into trouble all the time.  This little dynamo is a pocket rocket filled with issues.  She gets rocked not just by dudes, but other chicks beat her ass too a few weeks later.  In the words of words of one of her housemates, she needs to learn how to fight or duck…

But, for MTV as a company, how are you going to let her ride on your advertisers like that?

When Polizzi was asked about the advertisers pulling their ads Polizzi responded, “I just have one thing to say to Domino’s, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there, F*** you! If you don’t want to watch, don’t watch. Just shut the hell up! I’m serious… F*** you!”[79] In response, UNICO said in a statement “She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans – she is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!”[79] A rep for Domino’s said in response, “Our first response was, ‘What a classy young lady—her parents must be so proud… There’s no need to get into a war with this young girl, because tick-tock, her fifteen minutes are almost up.”[80]

Soon, we will forget about you, and you will be barefoot and pregnant with 4 other little guidos running around.  Good luck finding the man of your dreams.  If he is smart, he is moving in the other direction.