All I want for Christmas is...


There is really not a reason that I can grip on.  Pay what you owe.

This Daily News story is not a story about prostitution. Okay, this is a story about prostitution, but not the reasons that you think.  I am pro-choice.  If a woman (or a man) wants to sell a commodity (their body) to a buyer (john, or trick) at an agreed upon price, that is just capitalism.  I know that people will use the child sex slave scandals as a reason to disagree with prostitution, but incorrect usage is not a reason to deny…in theory consenting males and females should be able to enter into an agreement.

Sex is one of the biggest weapons anyone can utilize.  How many of you have done something to get into the sheets?  How many of us have done something like faked interest in something as an entry to starting a relationship?  Yes, some relationships, that are strong, are built on an initial lie.  Even for the people of, who just happen to bombard the ESPN airwaves with their commercials.

Really, pay what you owe…

CARTAGENA, COLOMBIA – The Daily News published the first photos of the Colombian call girl whose encounter with a cheapskate Secret Service agent set off the agency’s worst sex scandal.

Dania Suarez, the 24-year-old single mom of a 9-year-old son, has gone into hiding as the scandal mushrooms, according to neighbors.

A friend stopped by late Wednesday to pick up her dog, a pug named Valentino, they said.

Suarez, originally from the island of San Andres, is a quiet tenant who rents a small apartment in a hacienda-style home for about $600 a month, neighbors said.

They often saw her go out late and come home at dawn, dangling her high heels in her hand.

ASSETS...Good enough to spank...

“She never told us what she did for a living but it was obvious,” said Maria Quintero, 31, who lives on the first floor of the three story white building.

“She was home all day and left late at night looking very nice,” Quintero said.

So, they knew what she did, but it was not a problem for them.  All seemingly agreed that she was a good mother, which must be hard, if you are having a kid at fifteen.

“I asked her if she worked, she said no. I asked her if her boyfriend helped her, she said no. Then it hit me.”

Another neighbor, Maria Estela Cubides, 45, said Suarez seemed to have a glamorous life out on the town, but kept to herself at home.

“She always left late at night. She traveled a lot, to fancy destinations,” Cubides said. “She never brought guys home. She kept to herself. I’m surprised she did all that noise to get her money. She’s not that kind of person.”

Another neighbor, Dona Betty, said Suarez told people she was a dancer.

“She showed up early in the morning, with her heels on her hands,” she said. “We suspected, but she keeps to herself. She is a good mother.”

Here is where the problem lies.  Prostitution is legal in Columbia, it is a business transaction.  PAY WHAT YOU OWE!

Prostitution is legal in Colombia, and escorts, hookers and streetwalkers crowd the streets of the tourist districts.

Suarez has said she was a “high class” escort who made $800 – 1.4 million pesos – a night to dress well and provide sparkling company as well as have sex.

The average Colombian household earns $287 a month.

Eleven Secret Service agents and nine military servicemen are under investigation for hiring 20 or 21 hookers in Cartagena last week when they were supposed to be preparing for President Obama’s April 13 arrival at a regional summit.

Suarez was one of the girls brought back to the posh Hotel Caribe to party with the G-men on the night of April 11.
According to the story Suarez has told friends and the press, the still-unnamed agent kicked her out of his room the next morning with only $28 in cab fare.

She caused a ruckus in the hallway, demanding her full payment, while the agent remained locked in the locked hotel room and wouldn’t come out.

Dude, just pay her.  Just pay her and we never hear about this, you get to keep your job and you don’t hurt the president. She did her part, met her terms in the contract.  Being too drunk is not an excuse.  This is also the reason to get the money first, because of fools like this.

Soon Cartagena cops got involved and while the payment dispute was ultimately settled by a whip-round among some of the other Secret Service agents, word reached the US Embassy.The men were ordered home, put on leave and stripped of their security clearances.

Three Secret Service agents, including two supervisors, were ousted Wednesday.

CBS News named two of the three Thursday: Greg Stokes, a supervisor who handled the bomb sniffing dogs, was fired. He is fighting to keep his job, exercising his option to appeal the firing.

Supervisor David Chaney, who was allowed to retire, was a second generation Secret Service agent: his dad, George Chaney, protected President Johnson.

More were on the verge of being canned.“Several more people will be pushed out either today or tomorrow,” Rep. Peter King (D-NY) said Thursday.

Two secret service agents have been given polygraphs and more are expected, two sources said.

ABC News reported that the men had booked a party space at the hotel expecting a bash for about 30 people.

“That allegation is coming from the media, but it is being checked out,” King said.

White House officials have said the president’s security was not compromised but investigators are looking into whether the agents left sensitive papers in their rooms where the hookers could have had access to them.

In addition, people on scene said the unnamed agent was still roaring drunk the next morning, when he got into the dispute with Suarez, and that could have affected his job performance.

It really is simple. You got to sample the goods...

Look, its art inatating life again, as Hollyweird has made a movie about the GFE...

Look, its art imitating life again, as Hollyweird has made a movie about the GFE...

Normally, if someone says that you are a professional, then you would take that as a complement about your behavior.  In this case, it’s not a compliment, but is a statement of alleged fact.  One of my favorite movies takes an examination of that line, “I’m just a professional…”  It’s like they say that to Denzel Washington in order get sympathy from him.  All he does is deal them a taste of death….

Teachers don’t make a lot of money.  It can be explained for the visual learner, looking at the chart below.

the money isnt really there for the taking....

the money isn't really there for the taking....

That is not a lot of money.  Meet the assistant principal at Kyrene Del Cielo Elementary School, Annette O’Leary.  Now, I am not a principal, nor have my administration credential, but they may not make a lot of money.  After the break, see how she tried to earn some extra shekels.

Read the rest of this entry »

So, do we really have to say that we love the box?  Because if we do, then I will say it again for all of us here… we love the box more than words could express.

As a favor to our loyal readers, we tend to share our experiences with you so that you can improve on your own love connection experiences.

Why dont they have a show called SEX CONNECTION?  I bet that it would get better ratings...

Why don't they have a show called SEX CONNECTION? I bet that it would get better ratings...

So, we have talked about Buying Virginity, Famous HOES, (I mean that in a good way ladies…) and women NOT to date.  Today, we want to focus on change and hope, since we are all about the Big O.  (take away from that as you will, its free thought Thursday)  Guys who are looking for the right one, have hope. According to the Daily Mail, all it takes is cash…just like Magic Johnson and HIV/AIDS



Money can’t buy you love – but it can lead to better sex, scientists say.

A controversial study claims that a woman finds lovemaking more fulfilling if her partner is wealthy.

The finding adds to the evidence that for many females, money, status and success remain a key ingredient in sexual attraction.

The link between money and sex, and the apparent sexual attraction of fabulously wealthy men, has been debated since the dawn of civilisation.

Really, women like money?  Next thing you are going to tell me is that women like to go shopping…This much was clear, but I think that the thing that the study should focus on is the fact that MEN would do the EXACT SAME THING for money.  I would.  I would just make sure that even though she is older, you have to have some redeeming quality outside of your loot.  Because, i would imagine that I would have to preform the deed.  I would certainly hope the money would make me feel better about myself.

It was famously celebrated by the spoof chat show host Mrs Merton, when she asked Debbie McGee ‘what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?’ and is discussed every time a young female model marries a far older, but richer businessman, pop star or actor.

Often it is assumed that women involved in such relationships do it for the lifestyle – and put up with the sex. But the latest study suggests otherwise.

Evolutionary biologists Dr Thomas Pollet and Prof Daniel Nettles, of Newcastle University, used the world’s biggest study into lifestyles to look at the link between wealth and enjoyment of sex.

The Chinese Health and Family Life Survey includes information on the sex lives, income, education and other personal details on 5,000 people across China, based on interviews and questionnaires.  Among these were 1,534 women with husbands and boyfriends.

Dr Pollet found that 121 of these women reported always having orgasms during sex, 408 said they ‘often’ had orgasms, 762 ‘sometimes’ had orgasms while 243 had them rarely or never.

The researchers found several factors influenced the women’s enjoyment of sex. However, one of the biggest turned out to be the income of their partner.

‘We found that increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women’s self-reported frequency of orgasms,’ Dr Pollet said in  the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour.

The link between enjoyment of sex and partner’s wealth was statistically significant even when they took into account other factors such as age, education, happiness, the length of relationship and health.

The scientists say the findings could be explained by bias in the study – that women who have frequent orgasms tend to overestimate their partner’s income, or that women with ‘high powered’ partners exaggerate how much they enjoy sex.

‘While we cannot rule out reporting bias, we note that the interviews took place away from the respondents’ home, without their partner present and with the respondents able to input their responses directly into the computer if they so wished,’ Dr Pollet said.

It is also possible that women who are highly susceptible to orgasms select partners who are wealthy, he said.

He added: ‘The third interpretation is that more desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms,’ he said.

If this is true, a woman’s ‘capacity for orgasm’ could have evolved to help her discriminate between males on the basis of their quality, he added.

The link between enjoyment of sex and wealth has also been found in studies in Germany and America.

Evolutionary biologists argue that every aspect of sex – from courtship to the quality of orgasms – is influenced by millions of years of evolution.

Although many people find the idea that women enjoy sex more with rich partners offensive, some biologists argue that the instinct makes evolutionary sense.

Women have to invest so much time and personal risk into each baby, it is crucial that they get the most successful and healthy partner so they can to improve the chances of their own DNA being passed on.

A man, in contrast, can father hundreds, or even thousands, of babies in a lifetime and so invests less in each child.

That means they do not have to be so choosy about whether their partner is socially successful.

The result of this battle of the sexes is that women are more influenced by the social status, intelligence, quick wits and success of a partner than men are, scientists argue. Wealth is usually an obvious indicator of success.

This part of the story is interesting in the sense that I totally disagree.  I am all for remembering my first crush.  The first woman that I really lusted after was a woman by the name of Tonya.  She went to high school with a buddy of mine and it was the one time that I was overwhelmed and not confident enough to persue her.  She went on to Stanford and probably is CEO of some company, or a top lawyer in some prestigous firm.  She is the reason why I rather strike out, than never come up to bat.

Guys who need to get out more

December 10, 2008

At Too Old, we look out for our fellow man and woman. We keep it real and we tell you how we feel and what we are thinking at the time. Ripped straight from the headlines of the Sun, we find out that some people spend too much time fumbling with technology.  Here is the subject that this topic is all about…

Well, I am thinking that this guy NEEDS to get out more. According to the Sun today…

She might even let me get to first base!
She might even let me get to first base!

A BOFFIN too busy to find real love has INVENTED his idea of the perfect woman – a female ROBOT.

Inventor Le Trung, 33, created Aiko, said to be “in her 20s” with a stunning 32, 23, 33 figure, shiny hair and delicate features.

She even remembers his favourite drink and does simple cleaning and household tasks.

Now, we all would cherish not having to do cleaning and have someone get our favorite drink, but at what cost? I should at least, have to get out of the recliner or off the couch to get a beer.

Here is where they lose me in the article and I think that he really needs to get out more.

“Fem-bot” Aiko, who has cost £14,000 to build so far, is a whizz at maths and even does Le’s accounts.

Le, a scientific genius from Brampton in Ontario, Canada, said he never had time to find a real partner so he designed one using the latest technology.

He said he did not build Aiko as a sexual partner, but said she could be tweaked to become one.

First, you spend 14,000 pounds, which is close to 17,800 in U.S. dollars.

Maybe you should just use craigslist and go here or here

You just need some skills to get out and talk to the fairer sex. We are not experts, but we get our fair share and it starts with going to places that women hang out. You can go here

Where are the SLUTS, I MEAN SLOTS?

Where are the SLUTS, I MEAN SLOTS?

You wish you were as ripped as me... I can do laundry on my rock hard abs.  Now, go fetch me some coconut oil and a protein shake!

You wish you were as ripped as me... I can do laundry on my rock hard abs. Now, go fetch me some coconut oil and a protein shake!

or look here

Here, have a drink, it might loosen you up

Here, have a drink, it might loosen you up

or even here

too bad Im not STACKED, but feel free to CHECK ME OUT

too bad I'm not STACKED, but feel free to CHECK ME OUT

but creating companionship is creepy, like this

or this creative whiz

MOM, I think we are out of PRINGLES! Can you get some more?

MOM, I think we are out of PRINGLES! Can you get some more?

Second, the fact that she does the bills too is totally awesome, but I can get an accountant to take care of the bills. HUMAN INTERACTION is what you seek.

Third, if you are talking about tweaks, then you have already tried them out, you pervert.

“Her software could be redesigned to simulate her having an orgasm and reacting to touch as if she is playing hard to get or being straight to the point,” he said.

The former software programmer has taken out credit cards and loans, sold his car and spent his life savings on perfecting the machine.

“I want to make her look, feel and act as human as possible so she can be the perfect companion,” said Le.

The odd looking pair go out for drives together in the Canadian countryside, before sitting down at the dinner table, but Aiko never eats anything.

Le said: “So far she can understand and speak 13,000 different sentences in English and Japanese, so she’s already fairly intelligent.

“When I need to do my accounts, Aiko does all the maths. She is very patient and never complains.”

Fourth, why take her out for drives in the countryside?  Do you really want people to know how crazy and desperate that you are?  The people who hate it are worried for you and the people who love it are really laughing at you, or they are just like you.  Either way, get out and circulate more with the people.

I wonder if he saw this movie too many times…

This place can be a rite of passage for men if you are to believe places like Hollywood. This place is a house of ill repute, also known as a cathouse, or in not so polite terms, a whorehouse, where women sell themselves to men, to be able to make a living. Of course, we all know the story of Pretty Woman…

A working class girl (Julia Roberts) finds herself paired with a millionaire (Richard Gere) with a heart of stone. She manages to fleece him for all his riches and he is left broke and disgusted. Wait that is what happens in real life, not the scripted, phony Hollywood ending of Pretty Woman. In the movie, she falls in love with him and he reciprocates the feelings of amorous behavior. They are off to live happily ever after, the End and the waste of 6 dollars that went with it.

Now, back to the topic at hand. The above picture is where Josef Fritzl would go when he grew tired of raping his daughter and making babies. He would go to the cathouse to look for new and exciting, exotic women to act out his twisted fantasies, all inspired by the Fuhrer himself.

“At the bar, he acted despotically. As soon as he found one of the girls attractive and ordered champagne, he said things like, ‘sit straight!’ or ‘don’t talk such sh**!’.

“This is unusual at brothels – you go there to have a good time. And upstairs, in a room, he got completely out of the track.”

Asked what he meant by an Austrian newspaper reporter Flugel replied: “Perverse. I heard about that when talking to the girls. Two of them said, ‘never again with that guy!’. Such a thing is very rare in this business.

“It has to do with pain. Or with a game where a girl is asked to play a corpse.”

Prostitution is legal in Austria and the Villa Ostend charges customers about £70 per half hour.

Fritzl’s habit of driving forty miles to a nightclub illustrated his compulsive need to keep his secret world separate from his outward show of being a respectable professional.

Police have already revealed how he would drive miles to buy toiletries or sanitary items for his captive daughter Elisabeth and the children imprisoned with her so there would be no wagging tongues in his hometown.

Asking her to play dead? That is disgusting, but relatively tame in light of how sick this guy really is. But, here at Too Old, we are believers of the free enterprise system. We would never look down on the women that have to do whatever it takes to make the ends meet. The crazy thing is that prostitution is legal over there and they make about 130 dollars a half hour (conversion rate) I think that the women were not charging enough if they had to be with that animal. That is sad, and sick all at the same time. Having to drive 40 miles so not to be seen shows how much this dude was oversexed.

I guess if you are in the town, you might want to stop by and mention us for a 10 percent discount at the door…