All I want for Christmas is...


There is really not a reason that I can grip on.  Pay what you owe.

This Daily News story is not a story about prostitution. Okay, this is a story about prostitution, but not the reasons that you think.  I am pro-choice.  If a woman (or a man) wants to sell a commodity (their body) to a buyer (john, or trick) at an agreed upon price, that is just capitalism.  I know that people will use the child sex slave scandals as a reason to disagree with prostitution, but incorrect usage is not a reason to deny…in theory consenting males and females should be able to enter into an agreement.

Sex is one of the biggest weapons anyone can utilize.  How many of you have done something to get into the sheets?  How many of us have done something like faked interest in something as an entry to starting a relationship?  Yes, some relationships, that are strong, are built on an initial lie.  Even for the people of, who just happen to bombard the ESPN airwaves with their commercials.

Really, pay what you owe…

CARTAGENA, COLOMBIA – The Daily News published the first photos of the Colombian call girl whose encounter with a cheapskate Secret Service agent set off the agency’s worst sex scandal.

Dania Suarez, the 24-year-old single mom of a 9-year-old son, has gone into hiding as the scandal mushrooms, according to neighbors.

A friend stopped by late Wednesday to pick up her dog, a pug named Valentino, they said.

Suarez, originally from the island of San Andres, is a quiet tenant who rents a small apartment in a hacienda-style home for about $600 a month, neighbors said.

They often saw her go out late and come home at dawn, dangling her high heels in her hand.

ASSETS...Good enough to spank...

“She never told us what she did for a living but it was obvious,” said Maria Quintero, 31, who lives on the first floor of the three story white building.

“She was home all day and left late at night looking very nice,” Quintero said.

So, they knew what she did, but it was not a problem for them.  All seemingly agreed that she was a good mother, which must be hard, if you are having a kid at fifteen.

“I asked her if she worked, she said no. I asked her if her boyfriend helped her, she said no. Then it hit me.”

Another neighbor, Maria Estela Cubides, 45, said Suarez seemed to have a glamorous life out on the town, but kept to herself at home.

“She always left late at night. She traveled a lot, to fancy destinations,” Cubides said. “She never brought guys home. She kept to herself. I’m surprised she did all that noise to get her money. She’s not that kind of person.”

Another neighbor, Dona Betty, said Suarez told people she was a dancer.

“She showed up early in the morning, with her heels on her hands,” she said. “We suspected, but she keeps to herself. She is a good mother.”

Here is where the problem lies.  Prostitution is legal in Columbia, it is a business transaction.  PAY WHAT YOU OWE!

Prostitution is legal in Colombia, and escorts, hookers and streetwalkers crowd the streets of the tourist districts.

Suarez has said she was a “high class” escort who made $800 – 1.4 million pesos – a night to dress well and provide sparkling company as well as have sex.

The average Colombian household earns $287 a month.

Eleven Secret Service agents and nine military servicemen are under investigation for hiring 20 or 21 hookers in Cartagena last week when they were supposed to be preparing for President Obama’s April 13 arrival at a regional summit.

Suarez was one of the girls brought back to the posh Hotel Caribe to party with the G-men on the night of April 11.
According to the story Suarez has told friends and the press, the still-unnamed agent kicked her out of his room the next morning with only $28 in cab fare.

She caused a ruckus in the hallway, demanding her full payment, while the agent remained locked in the locked hotel room and wouldn’t come out.

Dude, just pay her.  Just pay her and we never hear about this, you get to keep your job and you don’t hurt the president. She did her part, met her terms in the contract.  Being too drunk is not an excuse.  This is also the reason to get the money first, because of fools like this.

Soon Cartagena cops got involved and while the payment dispute was ultimately settled by a whip-round among some of the other Secret Service agents, word reached the US Embassy.The men were ordered home, put on leave and stripped of their security clearances.

Three Secret Service agents, including two supervisors, were ousted Wednesday.

CBS News named two of the three Thursday: Greg Stokes, a supervisor who handled the bomb sniffing dogs, was fired. He is fighting to keep his job, exercising his option to appeal the firing.

Supervisor David Chaney, who was allowed to retire, was a second generation Secret Service agent: his dad, George Chaney, protected President Johnson.

More were on the verge of being canned.“Several more people will be pushed out either today or tomorrow,” Rep. Peter King (D-NY) said Thursday.

Two secret service agents have been given polygraphs and more are expected, two sources said.

ABC News reported that the men had booked a party space at the hotel expecting a bash for about 30 people.

“That allegation is coming from the media, but it is being checked out,” King said.

White House officials have said the president’s security was not compromised but investigators are looking into whether the agents left sensitive papers in their rooms where the hookers could have had access to them.

In addition, people on scene said the unnamed agent was still roaring drunk the next morning, when he got into the dispute with Suarez, and that could have affected his job performance.

It really is simple. You got to sample the goods...

SSShhhhhh! I'm busy knocking off my side piece or jumpoff!!!

I guess the life of a professional athlete leaves you with a lot of time on your hands.  You definitely train and go to practice, but once that is done, you are left to your own devices.  If you have you head on straight, you make sure your body can recover from the brutal pounding you take in practice and in games.

Some players take ice baths to help stimulate recovery faster.  Your body is a temple that you want to be able to operate at peak performance.  Jumping out of windows like you are Superman is not going to help.

Posted Sept. 30, 2010 @ 9:45 a.m. ET

aguars WR Kassim Osgood had to jump for his life on Monday night when he leapt out of a second-floor window to escape a armed intruder who attacked him and a 19-year-old Jaguars cheerleader, according to police.

this is just like the window I used to jump from...

Okay…I don’t want to minimize what happened, but a second story window is about ten feet off the ground.  He didn’t jump from a ten story window, just ten feet.  Growing up, I used to have to do that all the time, as I had to sneak into my girlfriends room occasionally without being seen.

The Boston Herald gives some details about the alleged attacker

Julian Armond Bartletto, 20, of the 10500 block of Running Oak Court has been arrested on charges of aggravated battery, false imprisonment, armed robbery, burglary and violation of an injunction, police said. He was booked into the Duval County jail ineligible for bail, according to jail records.

Second issue is that Kassim, you are thirty.  Now, I am not an age NAZI, since love doesn’t measure age in the equation.  But, what are you doing with a girl fresh out of high school?  You are a professional athlete, with thirsty hoes,  groupies are available everywhere.

She is pretty dec Kassim....

Osgood was watching television late Monday night with Mackenzie Rae Putnal when the armed intruder, Putnal’s ex-boyfriend, entered wielding a gun. The intruder pistol-whipped Osgood in the head after pulling Putnal by her hair and hitting her with the gun and his fists.

Putnal escaped to her parents’ home downstairs and grabbed a gun. Putnal exchanged fire with the intruder but shots from both guns missed.

Okay, I will be the first to admit that I want a woman who is down for gangster ish like this.  Having the wherewithal to absorb some beating, then escape to get the piece and fire off some caps trying to hit dude is cause for me to give you dap, Mackenzie.  Even more amazing is in the details.  The Herald continues

By the time it was over, police said the armed intruder had traded gunfire with the woman after sticking a gun to her head, saying, “What did that football player say to his girlfriend, ’It’s a good day to die,’ ” misquoting ex-Florida Gator Chris Rainey’s recent text message to a former girlfriend after an arrest.

The fact that she was mentally tough to take some beating, and the psychological torture that her ex attempted to inflict… Pro Football Weekly picks up the story…

Osgood jammed a chair under the door and jumped out a window to the lawn below. He ran to a neighbor’s house to call police. Osgood sustained minor bruises during the attack and while fleeing.

In the words of Riley Freeman, that is a real b*&$# move…you left your girl.

Kassim, I guess we have to add your name to the list now...

How are you just going to leave her like that?  Plus, you don’t have a cell phone that you could have used to call the police from the house and made sure your jump-off was okay?  I mean, you are leaving her to fire back and defend herself!  But, on the other hand, you are proving that women are equal to men.  No patriarchal rhetoric here!  It’s okay for you to bring home the bacon and fire the guns in the house.  N.O.W. would be proud… The Herald gives a little more light to the story than PFW, since they are more concerned with the fantasy aspect of the story. (I am bet that Osgood is benched or probably chilling on the FA wire in your league)

Mackenzie Rae Putnal and Osgood, 30, were watching television in a second-floor game room just before 11:15 p.m. when a man walked in with his face covered with a plastic bag and pointed a gun at them. Exclaiming that “I can’t believe you’re with that guy,” he pulled Putnal around the room by her hair and hit her with gun and fists before hitting Osgood in the head with the weapon too, the arrest report said.

I wonder what ex was referring to, his age, or the fact that outside of special teams, he is not that good?  Maybe Kassim cost him a victory in fantasy football…the dude was talking ish about Kassim though….

The gunman took the woman’s cell phone and tackled her when she tried to flee, holding the gun to her head as well as Osgood’s and also hitting her dog several times. When ordered to sit on the floor, Putnal escaped down a hall and leaped over the balcony to the floor below, the report said.

The gunman ran after her, so Osgood jammed a chair under the game room door handle and jumped out a window to the lawn below, running to a neighbor’s house to call police. Meanwhile, Bartletto and Putnal confronted each other downstairs with guns. The woman targeted him with her laser sight before both shot at each other and missed.

I gotta again give dap to the parents for having the laser sight, but how do you miss then?  Sometimes a higher force is looking out for fools.  Plus, this is a girl you might want to have in the foxhole.  Notice the story doesn’t mention her bruises or any injury, but we know that Kassim got lumped up?  She jumped out the window too to the ground below.  I wonder do her parents know that a thirty year old man is beating the coochie up of their nineteen year old daughter?

“He’s fine,” Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio said. “I’m aware of it. I really can’t comment on that whole deal. He’s doing OK.”

Osgood is in his first year with the Jaguars after signing as a free agent this past offseason. He has made three Pro Bowls as a special-teams player — all with the Chargers — and has a 24-yard TD catch this season.

Maybe this is why teams don’t allow or frown on relationships between players and cheerleaders.  I started this missive as a warning about jump-offs and side pieces.  That message is still an important one to carry on.  Steve McNair got caught up with a young tenderoni (shout out to Bobby Brown) and he had his life ended due to the drama surrounding her.  While the side piece was not the main culprit ( and in fact, she is the hero in the situation) in of the scenario, hanging out with her was.  Listen to Wu-Tang Kassim…protect your neck!

p.s.  This is not a small dude…

Osgood, 6-foot-5 and 225 pounds, caught the game-winning touchdown in the Jaguars’ home-opening win against the Denver Broncos. He played seven years for the San Diego Chargers before signing this year with the Jaguars.

Marvin, give us some guidance please!

Ronin sent this to me this morning and just like I imagine it will do to you, it turned my day sideways.  So I decided to turn to Marvin to get some answers.

Girl, 12, allegedly raped at El Cerrito school

Michael Cabanatuan, Chronicle Staff Writer

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

(12-14) 18:43 PST EL CERRITO — A 14-year-old boy was charged Monday with raping a 12-year-old girl in the stairwell of an El Cerrito middle school, and the principal and vice principal have been placed on administrative leave while police and school officials investigate the alleged crime.

El Cerrito police will focus their investigation on the alleged sexual assault, while West Contra Costa Unified School District officials look into how such a crime could have occurred on the Portola Middle School campus during the school day, officials said.

How could this happen during the day?  More importantly, what was going through this young mans head? (allegedly, since we do not have all the facts…)  Why didn’t this happen when we were going to school, since we had a lot of the same stimulations that they have now? (like video games, rated R movies, Playboy and Hustler,  which I could buy at the corner liquor store)

The boy allegedly raped the girl about 2:40 p.m. Thursday at the school at 1021 Navellier St., police Cmdr. Michael Regan said.

The stairwell was empty because class was in session, he said. The two students, who apparently know each other, had passes or reasons not to be in class, he said. He declined to discuss other details of the alleged assault.

This is the only reason why I preach wait until all the facts are known.  In my heart of hearts, I am hoping that they knew each other, wanted to get down and were caught by the other student.  She panicked and she came up with the story.  Chances are that isn’t the case, but in a bad situation, that would make it better, only in the sense that she wasn’t violated.  Age of consent with children is a slippery thing, but at least IF she made the choice, then it obviously isn’t the same as having that choice ripped away from you.

Another student who entered the stairwell and witnessed the incident reported it to a school resources officer, Regan said.

Police arrested the suspect at his home in Richmond about 8 p.m. Thursday. He was booked into juvenile hall in Martinez and charged Monday with rape and false imprisonment.

Of course, he had to be from Richmond.  I bet the local news will do their best to highlight that fact.  Now, I know I did it, but that is out of the loathing that I had of the media to do it.  I guess I beat them to the punch.  But, Ronin and I are from Richmond, and our boys never did something like this…

I go back to the parents, but I blame the system too.  If parents were in control of their children and showed them love, respect, and the fear of the belt, then this ish wouldn’t happen.  This is one time that I am not kidding.  Watch the first two minutes and see what I mean.

My mother was a single mother and things worked out. Why?  It wasn’t just luck.  It was that the block looked out for me and raised me when my mother or family wasn’t around.  If I was over Ronin’s house and we were outside playing and we did something, then the Hills (his neighbors) would come outside and scold us, or give us the hand to the backside, and then would take us home to face another beating.  There was no debate, you had to right to speak or a phone call.  It made me wise to not doing things that led to a beating.

Parents can clearly go too far.  There is such a thing a child abuse.  But, if you are getting whipped on your @$$ and legs for something you did, I bet you wouldn’t do it again, or you did the calculus and decided that the beating was worth whatever you did.  Either way, justice had been served.  We need to get back to that, but the block aint the same.  People are not looking out for each other like they did just twenty years ago.

Marin Trujillo, a spokesman for the school district, said principal Denise VanHook and assistant principal Matthew Burnham had been placed on paid administrative leave, in keeping with a district policy adopted after the recent gang rape outside Richmond High School’s homecoming dance.

“The purpose is to allow an investigation to take place,” Trujillo said.

I don’t know either administrator, but what is sending them home going to do?  It’s not like they are trying to cover it up.  The Richmond High Administration did not try to cover it up either.  Do you really think that they are going to be in the way?  They may have connections to students that can HELP solve the crime.

Investigators will look into why the students were not in class, what plans existed to supervise them, and why those plans were not followed.

“We’re shocked that this could have happened during school hours,” Trujillo said.

VanHook, reached at home Monday night, said she could not comment, and that she had not been apprised of the investigation’s findings or progress.

“I’m in the dark as much as you are,” she said.

E-mail Michael Cabanatuan at

I think that we are all in dark….Marvin, prey for us…This is the ish that gets me mad, and feeling helpless.  What could we do to stop this from happening again?

Call me the Health Inspector...we dont waste soap here...

To understand the picture, you have to know one of the episodes fo the Boondocks, A Date with the Health Inspector…

A Date with the Health Inspector [1.5]

[Tom is dreaming: In the jail shower, naked inmates shower, while Tom visibly shaken, drops the soap.]
Various Inmates: you hear something? What? Huh? Oooohhhhhhhhhhh yeah,
Tom: [crying]
Inmate: Soap drop, nigga!
[Tom gasps]
Inmate: [Pauses] Oh, you think you just gon’ leave it down there?
Tom: N-no …
Inmate: Huh? We don’t waste no muh-fuckin’ soap in here.
Tom: I’m…I’m finished.
Inmate: Naw. Naw, nigga. You ain’t finished. I been watchin’ you.
Tom: You have?
Inmate: You ain’t wash behind your ears or nothin’.
Tom: But I did…
Inmate: Look at me. See how I’m all clean, glistenin’ an’ shit? Dat’s hygiene, nigga. You could call me the health inspector. NOW PICK UP THE SOAP!!
[Tom bends down to pick it up, obviously afraid]
Various Inmates: Pray, baby, pray! I’m next.
[Tom wakes up screaming]

Lawrence Taylor clearly loves life and all that it has to offer.  What we also know is that L.T. loves drugs of all kinds, whether it is the sauce or the rocks, he doesn’t know how to say no.  This passion and fire led him to become one of the fiercest pass rushers in NFL History.

But it has also led him into trouble.

Damn L.T. you clearly look faded in the picture. But, it does look like a happy fade, where you are pleasantly buzzed, but still have no business behind the wheel of a car.

Nov. 9 (Bloomberg) — Pro Football Hall of Fame linebacker and former New York Giant Lawrence Taylor was arrested in Hialeah, Florida, after crashing into another motor vehicle and leaving the scene, according to police.

Taylor, 50, struck a car on Expressway 826 near the 103rd Street exit, and drove to the next exit before he pulled over, said Lieutenant James Durden, a spokesman for the Florida Highway Patrol. Taylor was charged with leaving the scene of an accident involving property damage.

Taylor told patrol officers that he was the driver of the car, and said he thought he had hit the guardrail rather than another vehicle. The offense is a misdemeanor because there were no injuries to either driver, Durden said.

Taylor, a 10-time Pro Bowl linebacker played all 13 of his NFL seasons with the Giants. He previously was found guilty of misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia and had been placed on probation after pleading guilty to tax evasion and for buying crack cocaine from an undercover police officer.

Thomas Melani, an attorney who defended Taylor previously, said he no longer has contact with him. Taylor’s telephone number was not listed in the Hialeah area.

To contact the reporter on this story: Curtis Eichelberger in Washington at

Someone really needs to help him, before in an instant….he’s gone.  The man is a known crackhead.  He was awesome, but when the rocks man gets em…he doesn’t let go.

On a different tune, the Police Officers must have been sprung with having L.T. in there.  So much so, they didn’t give him a breath test.  That is when you know you are big time.

This will hurt me more than it will hurt, I am lying...its going to hurt you more

This will hurt me more than it will hurt, I am just's going to hurt you more...a lot more.

Then Ronin and I should be challenging Stephen Hawking or Nobel winners, because we used to get the holy hell beat outta us.  Now, most of the time, we had to do something really horrible to deserve more than the usual grounding or sensory deprivation (taking TV, phone, sports away) but that didn’t take the pain out of the beatdown on the backside.  Normally, this would be the part that I would rail about kids today being soft and parents not taking control.  The studies would say otherwise. provides the evidence to the claim

Children who are spanked have lower IQs

Physical punishment slows kids’ intellectual growth, researcher says

By Jeanna Bryner
Senior writer

updated 1 hour, 31 minutes ago// <![CDATA[//

Spanking can get kids to behave in a hurry, but new research suggests it can do more harm than good to their noggins. The study, involving hundreds of U.S. children, showed the more a child was spanked, the lower his or her IQ compared with others.

“All parents want smart children,” said study researcher Murray Straus of the University of New Hampshire. “This research shows that avoiding spanking and correcting misbehavior in other ways can help that happen.”

but you would call the police on me for this too, right?  I cant win...

but you would call the police on me for this too, right? I can't win...

The problem with this is CAN….not will.  The methodology of any study like this I always call into question because the methods that they are talking about to quell dissent don’t work in the hood.  Timeout is not really going to control some unruly kids. (Just watch the first 1.40 or so to get the point)

One might ask, however, whether children who are spanked tend to come from backgrounds in which education opportunities are less or inherited intelligence lower.

But while the results only show an association between spanking and intelligence, Straus says his methodology and the fact that he took into account other factors that could be at play (such as parents’ socioeconomic status) make a good case for a causal link.

“You can’t say it proves it, but I think it rules out so many other alternatives; I am convinced that spanking does cause a slowdown in a child’s development of mental abilities,” Straus told LiveScience.

You have been a VERY bad girl...

You have been a VERY bad girl...

EXACTLY! I don’t care if you are convinced, I care about what you can prove.  So, this proves nothing to me.  Spanking your kid MIGHT BE NECESSARY, and I can’t prove it, but I an convinced that spanking controls your child and gives them muscle memory to remember NOT to do the behavior that got them the beatdown in the first place.  Spanking shouldn’t be the first thing that you default to, nor the only thing….but it needs to be in your toolbelt of solutions… Read the rest of this entry »

I was driving home last night after a long first day with the students and a coaches meeting after school at 6.  The meeting was scheduled just enough to not really allow me to go home and spend any significant time, without having to leave to come back for the meeting.  The meeting was actually okay, because they served dinner (which was just pasta, salad and desert, but it was really good and the desert, which I didn’t have looked outstanding) and they gave us some free gear, which I like, except the part that it looks like we are  (New coaching shirt, T-shirts and mock turtlenecks) repping Adidas this year from Nike last year.  But, free is free and the gear looks good.

On my way back, I was listening to a mixtape (on CD of course, as who still has a tape player?….even though I still have some actual mixtapes) and on this tape it had the remix of Every Girl, featuring R. Kelly.  Here is a sample of his lines… (flip the script for more) Read the rest of this entry »

because they can lead you to get shot up.

Steve just thought that it might be a hit on his rep, not his life...but jail isnt that bad, is it?

But would you get shot for it?

The timeline is not set in stone yet, but this 20 year old woman was one who liked to get out and party.  The drinking age is 21, so I thought, but when you travel in circles with Steve McNair, that might open up doors that would routinely be closed to you.  (either that, or you drink at where you work, which could cost you your license.)

Aren't you underage?  How do you have that beer?  and by the looks of it, it's a crappy beer like a Corona or something

Aren't you underage? How do you have that beer? and by the looks of it, it's a crappy beer like a Corona or something

Then, after a night of partying and drinking, you get pulled over…

and hauled off to jail,

That has got to be the motto, right?  I mean, drinking and driving is only a crime if you got caught

That has got to be the motto, right? I mean, drinking and driving is only a crime if you got caught

while Steve jumps into a taxi and gets home.

So, you had some time to stew in jail about being arrested…

with that time you had, you decided that Steve was going to take everything away.  Maybe you began to have feelings of abandonment,  since your parents were killed when you were young.  You were not going to have that happen to you again.  You and your new lover were going to die together, romantically, just like Romeo and Juliet

Really??? I bet SHE decided that YOU would wear the shirts...

Really??? I bet SHE decided that YOU would wear the shirts...

So, then you got your gun that you purchased (privately, as to get around the waiting period) go to the condo and sit and stew while waiting for Steve, who is out drinking with the fellas and is probably chasing better tail…

Sahel, there is a LOT of young tail out there for a guy, especially if you are Steve McNair...just ask his wife, since you are the jumpoff...

Sahel, there is a LOT of young tail out there for a guy, especially if you are Steve McNair...just ask his wife, since you are the jumpoff...and Hooters is better than Dave and Busters, you should try to get a job there...oopppss, I mean you SHOULD bad

She would not have reacted like this is you didn’t take her on expensive trips

You can tell he is sprung by the look he is giving her...

You can tell he is sprung by the look he is giving her...

and buy her cars…

Stuntin on them other hoes...but it could have been taken away at any time...

Stuntin on them other hoes...but it could have been taken away at any time...

and think that nothing is going to come of it when you try to leave the spot.  She thought that it was going to be taken away from her and she did the one thing that she could insure that her future would be forever entertwined with Steve McNair…kill him and kill yourself.

For future players, take a lesson from the tragic tale of Steve McNair.  First, listen to my boyz, Sporty Thievez and No Pidgeons…

then listen to my man Riley…

Think about the game…Game recognize game…

Huey: Granddad, have you asked yourself why a 20-year-old girl would wanna go out with a man your age?
Granddad: Because I laid my game down quite flat.
Riley: Game? What you know about the game, Granddad?
Granddad: I know the game.
Riley: Takin’ women out to eat, givin’ ’em free meals? What part of the game is that? You takin’ her to Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. The fam ain’t eatin’ cheddar biscuits but this random broad is eatin’ cheddar biscuits.
Riley: I know the game. Your granddaddy knows the game.
Riley: Game recognize game, Granddad.
Granddad: I recognize game! Your granddaddy recognize game!
Riley: Game recognize game and you lookin’ kinda unfamiliar right now. I – I can’t… Where’s Granddad? Can I help you, sir?

If you are in a situation like this, then follow my man A Pimp named Slickback for dealing with scenarios like this…

The Pimps Prayer: Let us pray the Pimps Prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord, so that she might learn a hos place. Amen.

The Pimp's Prayer: "Let us pray the Pimp's Prayer. Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord, so that she might learn a ho's place. Amen."

Finally, E-40 gives us sage advice…

if only Steve had followed this stuff…

One of the new features that I am going to debut is a category called Dumb Niggas.  Now, I am going to have to defend the use of the term and I am okay with it’s usage.  A Nigga is just a stupid indivual.  If you use the entire term N I G G E R, then you are looking to get your ass whooped.  Some of you white people might wonder when can you use it.  I have attached an instructional video for you to watch..

If you are wondering who that character is in the picture at the top of the story, wonder no more. This is Jim Jones.  Besides being a rapper, he also has an extensive rap sheet.  While you might say, “Duh Steve, he is a rapper…don’t all rappers have a rap sheet?”  I would tell you that this rapper is dumber the most, which was the beginning of this category.

Jim Jones played three roles on Tuesday: defendant, rapper and actor. The head of Harlem’s Dipset crew pleaded not guilty to assault charges in criminal court, then topped off the evening with a performance of his play, “The Hip Hop Monologues.” The rapper, best known for his single “Flying High,” was charged with assaulting Ne-Yo’s manager, Jayvon Smith, in December. “Court was humbling,” he told us. “It was another message to me to reevaluate the things I’ve been doing and how I’ve been handling situations.”

Now, I know that judges like to hear this type of contrition.  But, they are also looking for remorse over your actions and when you hear what he did, you will question whether or not he really learned his lesson…

Jones’ play features scenes in which he apologizes for many of his past mistakes, like his involvement with drugs. But has he learned his lesson? The rapper tweeted on Twitter during his trial, “I’m late 4 court wit marajuana eyes” and “sittin in court wit a pocket full of weed.” No wonder Jim told us after his show, “I’m feeling good. I gotta smile.”

Dumb Nigga.  Yeah, again, I said it.  You really are going to advertise that you are coming to court, after just smoking a blunt?  And, you are going to cop to having a bag of weed IN THE COURTROOM?  That is a nigga with no common sense.  But, it gets better.  Check out Jim Jones in an interview…

I recently interviewed Jimmy about the play while sitting on the lip of the stage, and toward the end of our talk, I asked him how he felt about Obama’s victory. Since Election Day, every conversation I have eventually turns to Barack Obama and our emotional reactions to this American epiphany. Jim confessed that the election inspired him to drop the word “nigga” from his vocabulary—where it was a nearly ubiquitous presence—and replace it with “Obama.” He gave me a few examples: “What up, my Obama?” “Yo, did you see them Obamas last night?” “Now that’s a real Obama.”

“Now that’s a real Obama.”

This is why niggas Obamas can’t have something nice, because other niggas Obamas wil fuck itup for everyone.  Really?  This is what took us so long to have our first black president and Jim Jones and the like will be the reason it will take a long time to have another one.  I know people are just laughing at him and you should too…

Don’t drop the soap Homie!

The self-proclaimed King of the South will rise again. In about 366 days’ time.

As expected, T.I. was sentenced today to one year and one day in Georgia prison as part of his plea deal with prosecutors over a 2007 felony weapons charge.

“Today I would like to say thank you to some, and apologize to all,” the rapper said.

“Everything I learned was through trial and error. I’ve learned lessons in my life to put in my music so people won’t make the same mistakes as I.”

The 28-year-old rapper, whose real name is Clifford Harris Jr., is required to voluntarily turn himself into prison within the next 30 to 60 days, but is not expected do so before May 19.

Damn bro… you are going to be in the pen during the worst time, the summer.  Do you really think that they have these in the cells?

not just for the Richie people anymore!

not just for the Richie people anymore!

You know negros in jail don’t get to shower every day, but they get yard every day.  Which means they are out there, running around

IN your grill!

IN your grill!

getting sweaty,  but not allowed to shower every day???  That place is going to smell funky.  Plus, you mix in the dudes that don’t shower, because they are afraid of having a date with the health inspector moment, and the level of B.O. is at terror level deep dark intense red…

Northern Georgia District Judge Charles Pannell Jr., who praised the artist for exceeding the expectations required from his plea deal, acknowledged that T.I. had commitments that prevented him from being jailed before the May date.

It’s unclear where he will serve his time, though court officials acknowledged that he would be receiving credit for the 305 days he already spent in home detention.

T.I.  you definitely got over because of your fame.  The next man would not be getting these accommodations.  This isn’t the Four Seasons!  You don’t just get to check-in and make an appointment.  They snatch a normal nigga up and lock him down.

You are also getting time served when you had “home detention” lock-up?  You mean here?

This is where REAL NIGGAS were housed back in the day.  This is a picture of a cell in Alcatraz

This is where REAL NIGGAS were housed back in the day. This is a picture of a cell in Alcatraz

no…here is where you “served” your 300 plus days

I bet that he gets to shower more than twice a week here...

I bet that he gets to shower more than twice a week here...

“I think this has been a great experiment,” Pannell told the rapper of his plea deal. “I hope this experience can lead to other experiments so others won’t make the same mistake at all. I congratulate you.”

The Grammy-winning hip-hop star, who donned a charcoal-grey suit and was accompanied by his family, manager and longtime partner Tameka “Tiny” Cottle at the morning hearing, brokered a deal last March.

The Paper Trail performer pleaded guilty to a federal weapons charge and agreed to complete 1,000 hours of community service prior to his sentencing, pay a $100,000 fine and complete an additional 500 hours of community service after getting sprung.

He originally faced up to 10 years behind bars.

The reformed rapper has made 262 public appearances as part of his community service agreement in addition to taking part in a pro-voting campaign, working with children and appearing in the MTV reality show Road to Redemption.

T.I. was arrested on Oct. 13, 2007, just hours before he was scheduled to headline the BET Hip-Hop Awards after cops busted him attempting to buy unregistered machine guns and silencers.

As for his sentence, being as it is (just) more than one year long, he will be eligible for early release, should his good behavior warrant it. Had his sentence been one year or less, he would have been required to serve the duration of the time behind bars.

(Originally published on March 27, 2009 at 8:35 a.m. PT)

You only get the time off for being a model prisoner...

You only get the time off for being a model prisoner...

Good luck T.I.  You won’t need it, as you can pay for protection, but you won’t be there for long anyway…

This one always makes me laugh, since this is really all MySpace is good for....

This one always makes me laugh, since this is really all MySpace is good for....

Just call me old fashioned,

but I hate most of the new technology… Samuel L. Jackson, portraying Gin Rummy had it right with Nigger technology.  But, I am a man of principles and when I am wrong, I have to admit it. MySpace could have saved a life.

Let me explain…

One of the many guilty pleasures that I have is that I like to read Craigslist Best of… it is one of the online technologies that actually work to make life easier and fun…

(Note… I am not the Steve here, because if I was and my boy sent me a stank picture of a dump I would be mad.)

Date: 2009-02-02, 10:34PM CST

This Letter of Apology is not only for the staff at the Best Buy #305 in Schaumburg, Illinois, but also to the gentleman in the middle stall in the men’s restroom at about 5:17 CST on Saturday, January 31st. You had been in there for awhile, so this Letter of Apology is as much for you. Please let me expand…

I recently finished reading The Chris Farley Show (I strongly recommend this book for everyone) and have been wanting to buy SNL’s Best of Chris Farley. After my fiancee’s grandmother’s 90th birthday party in the northwest suburbs (very lovely gathering, by the way) Saturday late afternoon/early evening, I decide to stop by and buy it. Right away, I find the last one on the shelf as my fiancée is looking for other “bargains,” and I pass it to her when I realize my stomach is rumbling. I decide to take a trip to the men’s room in search of a better life for myself. That’s when complications began to arise.

As I walk towards the men’s room, a mother is telling her son “it’s okay, use the bathroom, I’ll be right here” or something like that. I remember being that age (about 7-9) and public bathrooms were not your friend. I walk in just behind the little boy and see him glance at the urinal for a brief second – and then he walks to the rear stall. DAMMIT!! The middle stall is taken, and I think pooping in a urinal on a Saturday afternoon is a felony in most states. I sigh, leave, and take a couple of more (fast) laps around all of the movies and Wii games.

I return to the restroom about four minutes and ten seconds later, and the rear stall is now open. PAYDIRT!!! The middle stall is still occupied by the same dude as before (I can tell by seeing the same shoes and pants on the floor underneath the door). I actually think to myself, “that sucks, poor guy.” After wiping the toilet seat, I sit down and take a refreshing and cleansing poo. Things are looking up in life again.

I go to flush the toilet and sneer at how ugly it looks in there. It’s bad. Really bad. It is actually too gross for me to follow-through on taking a picture of it and texting it to my friend Steve.

Anyway, here is where things went awry. Very. I flush the toilet. Bubble. Bubbling. Rumbling. Uh-oh. The water rises a little. Please go down. Please. The water rises a little more. Nervousness settles in. Quickly. Shit. Dammit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Stop the water. Industrial toilet. It’s not an option. WTF. Shit. Please go down. Water still rising. Not going down. Really bad. 1” to go. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Please just stop. 1/2” left. Time to think of an exit strategy. Water overflows. Well, I guess you can call it water, but it doesn’t really look like water anymore. And, I just remember about the poor guy in the middle stall. Stay calm. And get out of there. Now.

“Watch your feet, dude, I’ll get somebody quick.” I said it as calm as I possibly could.

I almost immediately find a Best Buy employee: “I just wanted you to know that a toilet is overflowing in the men’s restroom, and you’re going to want to get somebody in there quick.”

I find my fiancée almost immediately. I walk very (very) fast towards her. “Can you get the movies? I’ll get the car.” She knows something is wrong. Very wrong. I guess I won’t argue with her buying Forgetting Sarah Marshall, then. I go to the car and circle around the parking lot for about eight minutes. I am hoping that the guy from the middle stall isn’t scouring the parking lot yet for the guy with brown hair in the black pullover and dark green vest. My fiancée walks out, she jumps in, and I speed away as fast as a 5 MPH speed limit in a parking lot permits.

So, please accept my apology, the guy in the middle stall, and also the fine employees at the Best Buy #305. I sincerely apologize for any heartache, headaches, and pain I may have caused you. And for ruining your weekend. Every time I watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall with my lovely soon-to-be wife, a special cloud of guilt will hang over my head for you.



Now, that is the definition of hilarity.  Who hasn’t been in that position once on our lives?  The fact that is was in a public bathroom is funnier and knowing that an innocent is harmed makes me laugh especially since I was not the one in the middle stall..poor kid.

Which gets me to MySpace.  This is a type of technology that Ed Wuncler the III would love.  There is a new revolution that is moving the field of play from the bars and clubs to the internet and social networking.  The revolution is the development of MySpace pimping.  Yes, MySpace pimping. Men and women around the globe are using this networking site to find people to hook up with and have meaningless sex with.  I have a friend (who will remain nameless) , but for fun lets call him Teve Torbes (if you have seen this classic SNL from 96) or Mr. Strapped (which is a separate funny story that if you ask for, I will tell) who flew to Guatemala to hook with a woman.  Long story short, it went well, until she dumped him via email.

So, I think that pimping MySpace was hot, but now has fallen behind Facebook and Craigslist.  One reason why I think that they fell behind is that on CL, you can choose a category that you like and browse the ads until you find something compatible.

As much as I rail against the social networking fad as a whole, here is one time going to someone’s MySpace or Facebook would be a good thing.  While this is no different than meeting up with someone in a bar, the MySpace can give information about someone that you would want to have before jumping into the sack.

The troubled teenager accused of stabbing WABC newsman George Weber during drug-fueled rough sex is a 16-year-old Satan-loving sadomasochist with a knife fetish.

Take a second to digest that sentence.  (While I took journalism in college, I really didn’t pay it much mind to the detriment of the readers…my bad.  next lifetime, I will pay attention in class)  This really captures, who,what, not so much when, where and why.  This is the Pulitzer of opening sentences.  It has me wanting to learn more.

John Katehis, who is just 16 and lives in East Elmhurst, Queens, posted pictures of himself on with various blades – including one he held against his neck. He also issued a chilling warning.

“If you disrespect me then I will f—–g break your neck,” he wrote.

I LIKE OLDER MEN FOR ROUGH S/M SEX!  That is what his MySpace page should have read...because what if I didnt find him on CL...the name of the game is diversify...

I LIKE OLDER MEN FOR ROUGH S/M SEX! That is what his MySpace page should have read...because what if I didn't find him on CL...the name of the game is diversify...

On his site, Katehis called himself “Extremist, an Anarchist, a Sadomasochist” and said he enjoys “long conversations, drinking, bike riding, hanging out.”

That probably got the victim in a great mood.  hey, I have found someone who like long conversations and drinking.  What guy doesn’t like to hang out?

The teen also listed more sinister hobbies like “roof hopping, hanging off trains” and claimed be into extremely violent video games.

“I am a very easy person to talk to,” he wrote. “I like to do crazy and wild things … I’m always looking for a big thrill.

You have to admit, having sex with A FREAKING MINOR is something that someone would consider wild and crazy, especially if you are putting your LIFE AND FREEDOM and MONEY at risk.  If the victim had just read, he might have avoided this entire situation.

I am smiliing here, but dead now because I like freaky sex with minors

I am smiliing here, but dead now because I like freaky sex with minors

Katehis was on the run in upstate Middletown, when cops picked him up just after midnight. He admitted answering an ad Weber placed on the Internet looking for a partner in rough sex, police and law enforcements sources said.

“He saw the victim’s ad looking for violent sex and said, ‘I can smother somebody for $60,’ but it got out of hand,” a source said.

Let me add a little more details to the story.  The NY Daily News is providing the rated PG version, let me spice it up for the readers…

The Post article said that an anonymous source revealed the two had met through a Craigslist ad for violent sex that Weber had posted, and added that Katehis had a girlfriend.

I am going to have to say “shenanigans” on this claim.  The guy is having sex with other guys.  now clearly that doesn’t prevent him from being bi-sexual.  But, it seems fishy to me that he would have time to have a girlfriend, have gay sex for money and keep up an extensive knife collection…

The article said that Weber and Katehis had struck an agreement of sex for pay, with Weber offering a price of $60. Now, 60 dollars can’t even pay for one of the violent video games that Katehis likes. The games are 60 dollars PLUS TAX.  So, he would still come up a little short.  Dude should have definitely asked for more money. While I wouldn’t pay people to beat on me, some people pay a lot for that service.

According to the suspect, Weber ingested alcohol and cocaine before producing a knife, evidently as part of the rough sex scenario. Katehis said that he then seized the knife and attacked the newsman, the article reported.

Death is nothing to laugh at…but I will.  Only a little bit, and only to say that why am I not shocked that the dude had coke?  I am shocked that he didnt have some X or some MDMA (which are basically the same, but I wouldn’t know, since I have never done either)  He got all coked up and liquored up and things went south.  That is why violence has no place with sex.  Lets start a campaign to keep them apart.  I don’t care if that is “your thing” but for once, I am calling you twisted.  Consensual gay sex is fine, since it is with two consenting ADULTS (lets put that in emphasis) but the violence that you are working out in S and M because you didn’t get enough hugs growing up is wrong.

Weber’s body was found two days later, naked from the waist down and with his ankles duct taped together, according to media sources. Water had been left running in the bathtub and the sink. Police speculated that the suspect washed up before leaving the premises, neglecting to turn off the taps before he exited.

Didn’t dude know that some of us in the US are facing severe water shortages?  Now, I applaud his cleanliness and wanting to clean up after sex and murder, but please, turn off the water and limit your shower to five minutes to conserve one of our most precious resources.

The killing was bloody, according to media sources, with blood found on the walls of the apartment. The suspect’s blood was also found at the scene, according to investigators. This is a reason to stick to the bars, although hilarity and hijinx like this can happen as well… Here is another sample of the Best of Craigslist

You thought I was hot… till you found out I wasn’t a dyke!! – m4w

Date: 2009-01-26, 8:52PM PST

We were both out with our friends Saturday nite, having a good time dancing, drinking, scoping out the honeys, you know how we do! After we danced for a bit, you came right up to me with that look in your eye and I couldn’t resist…we made out long enough to make the bad music worth it. You even handed your drink to your friend mid-kiss so you could focus all your energy on me! How hot is that??

Never mind that we were at Rebel Girl, the Rickshaw Stop’s once-a-month Lesbian/Grrl/Dyke-centric sweaty dancehall extravanganza, and I was one of maybe twenty dudes in a whole sea of queer female hotness…never mind that you thought I was a tall, thin GIRL, and didn’t realize I wasn’t, until twenty minutes AFTER we were done swapping spit. (That was *hella* hot by the way…all witnesses agree you’re quite gifted)

I thought you were charming in spite of your inability to accurately gauge my gender. I’m sorry I ended up being male-bodied, and straight, but nonetheless I’d like to see you again. Maybe next month? I only go when my lesbian friends invite me, but they’re giving you their official thumbs up. And I think your smile’s lovely. So there.

I was the tall blonde British lad in the button-up shirt. You were the slightly inebriated lass who knows who she is. If you’d like to try for a repeat as much as I do, by all means don’t waste any time..I’d love to dance with you again.

Now that is classy…but, back to our story.

The teen admitted he stabbed Weber, but couldn’t remember how many times because he “blanked out” during the assault. He was in custody Wednesday at Brooklyn‘s 76th Precinct.

Cops found the suspect by combing through Weber’s e-mail and Web browser history and tracking calls he made from his cell phone, sources said.

The internet is not a place to hide. Cell phones can be traced.  Why do you think that criminals today use disposable phones?  So that they can’t be tracked…

The two met in Brooklyn early Friday evening and then returned to the newsman’s Carroll Gardens brownstone apartment under the premise of engaging in sadomasochistic acts, sources said.

Weber, 47, whose ankles were bound with duct tape, was stabbed repeatedly in a frenzied attack that sprayed the walls with blood.

Weber had been writing a neighborhood blog and was freelancing for ABC’s national radio network after he was laid off from his job doing local news on WABC morning radio. His body was found Sunday morning.

“We are devastated by the loss of George – Jordy to us,” the veteran newsman’s family said in a statement Tuesday. “He was truly a caring person who loved and was loved by all he met.

“Jordy loved New York and its people, particularly his Carroll Gardens neighborhood. The outpouring of support by his friends and neighbors is a blessing to us and a testimony to his character.”

A memorial service is in the works, but arrangements have not been finalized, the family said.

How do you really have a decent memorial service for George?  Every one that is there knows what went down.  how can you be respectful, when you are thinking about his freaky lifestyle?  I know that if I went, I couldn’t help but to think that George (assuming that I knew him of course, which I don’t) allowed some young kid to stab him up because he was on the lookout for some freaky sex.  then I would think or wonder where did George get the cocaine from and how good was his conenctions?

Finally, I would think that George was a MySpace whore and that would be a central theme…

This is also not acceptable, but more acceptable than GaySlay.  Chains, maybe, knives NO WAY!

This is also not acceptable, but more acceptable than GaySlay. Chains, maybe, knives NO WAY!