Nice boob job, but you should work on the dye job...no way the drapes match the carpet

I am….

that she was stupid enough to get caught.

I would think that you would have a bagman for that kind of behavior.  You should never be caught with it.  You should not be photographed with it.  But, the drug is good enough that you cannot lay off it’s clutches.

Paris Hilton was arrested on the Las Vegas Strip late Friday after a police motorcycle officer smelled marijuana smoke wafting from a black Cadillac Escalade driven by her boyfriend, then found a small amount of cocaine in her purse.

A crowd quickly gathered when Hilton and Las Vegas nightclub mogul Cy Waits were stopped about 11:30 p.m. PDT Friday in the vehicle near the Wynn Las Vegas resort, police said.

The 29-year-old celebrity socialite was taken into the hotel “to keep her safe” during the initial investigation, police Lt. Wayne Holman said.

Police Officer Marcus Martin said the motorcycle officer pulled the Escalade over on Las Vegas Boulevard after noticing smoke that smelled like marijuana. Police later found a substance in Hilton’s purse that tests showed to be cocaine, Martin said. He didn’t say how much of the drug was found.

This dude doesn’t have a long career in Vegas is he is going to arrest moguls…

Hilton was arrested on suspicion of felony cocaine possession.

Waits, 34, was arrested on misdemeanor suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Both were booked into the Clark County jail, where Martin said Hilton was released without bail about 2:45 a.m. Saturday.

Less than an hour later, Hilton’s Twitter account was updated with a posting that said the actress was in bed watching the television show “Family Guy,” and then that she was going to sleep. It was unclear if the tweets came from her, were posted by time-release or were sent by someone else.

If convicted of the low-grade felony, Hilton would get probation. Any violation of probation would be punishable by one to four years in Nevada state prison.

Clark County District Attorney David Roger declined comment Saturday about the case.

Hilton’s attorney, David Chesnoff, told The Associated Press on Saturday morning that he was still gathering facts about the arrest.

“I caution people not to rush to judgment,” he said.

No, its okay.  I am going to rush to judgement.  She had the weed incident in South Africa during the world cup and she has been seen on camera smoking and she hangs out with cokeheads, so I am going to rush here to judge.  She is a coke head.  Fortunately, she has money, as I bet she would suck %$&@ for money, like Bob Saget.

Damn, be more DISCRETE!

Waits’ lawyer, Richard Schonfeld, said Waits posted $2,000 bail and was expected to be released Saturday.

Court appearance dates for Hilton and Waits were not immediately available.

Schonfeld said he was “troubled by the circumstances” leading to the arrest, but declined to specify his concerns.

“As the case proceeds, a lot of facts are going to come to light that will ultimately lead to exoneration,” Schonfeld said.

Hilton’s manager did not immediately respond early Saturday to telephone calls for comment. Hilton’s publicist, Dawn Miller, did not immediately return an e-mail message.

A spokeswoman for Wynn Resorts in Las Vegas declined immediate comment.

Waits and his twin brother, Jesse, are managing partners of the Tryst Nightclub inside Wynn Las Vegas, Drai’s after hours club at Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall & Saloon, and XS The Nightclub at Wynn’s Encore resort.

How does this dude not have a bagman?  You run one of the most popular clubs in Vegas?  All you need to do is get home or get to the club BEFORE doing your drugs.  Out in the open is foolish.

Earlier this week, Hilton was in the news when a 31-year-old man allegedly tried to break into her Los Angeles home.

Authorities have said that someone carrying two big knives banged on Hilton’s window Tuesday. She posted a photo of the arrest on Twitter and described it as “scary.” Nathan Lee Parada faces a felony burglary charge.

Hilton was arrested this summer after the Brazil-Netherlands World Cup match in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, on suspicion of possession of marijuana. The case was then dropped at a midnight court hearing.

Hilton pleaded no contest in 2007 to alcohol-related reckless driving and was sentenced to 45 days in jail. After spending about 23 days in jail, Hilton told CNN host Larry King that the experience caused her to re-evaluate the role partying played in her life. She said she wanted “to help raise money for kids and for breast cancer and multiple sclerosis.”

While most famous for her tabloid exploits and reality TV series “The Simple Life,” Hilton has appeared in the films “Bottoms Up,””The Hottie & the Nottie” and “House of Wax.”

Damn Morpheus, did you offer her the red and the blue pill?

Did she take both, or what?

You would think that pops would have kicked down some loot to prevent this, but it has shades of Reggie Bush to me.  You might ask, “What do you mean Steve?”  Well, the big issue with Reggie is that had he been a man and paid off his debts, the issue with USC would not have gone anywhere.  This started as a suit to get money back that the agent and runners gave to him.

This seems the same way.  Montana must have been broke and needed some loot and Larry didn’t kick down, until it was too late and Vivid had the video.  Now, the issue gets worse because there are some non flattering scenes with her co-star, Brian Pumper.  CBS explains

As a father, this has to be the worse nightmare you can have

NEW YORK (CBS) Montana Fishburne has welcomed her new found fame with open arms; however, the 19-year-old adult film star might be learning the hard way that the porn industry doesn’t always play by the rules.

The budding film star has reportedly hired a team of lawyers to clear up an X-rated debate with her sex tape partner.

According to TMZ, Montana Fishburne, whose father is “The Matrix” star Laurence Fishburne, has sent several letters to porn co-star Brian Pumper demanding that his production company stop selling “Phattys Rhymes & Dimes 14” because it contains footage of “work” that Montana and Brian did on the side…you know for practice.

The letter issued to Brian Pumper claims that Montana never consented to the use of the material for that video, but admits that she agreed to “practice” with Pumper in order to get ready for her debut with Vivid Entertainment, reports TMZ.

Montana Fishburne said she made it clear the additional footage was not supposed to be sold.

As of late, Brian Pumper has not responded to the letters, says TMZ.

Listen to the reason for the sex tape…

As reported last week, Montana, 19, has chosen to release a sex tape with Vivid to follow in the footsteps of Kim Kardashian:

“I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.”

Really? Kimmy Kakes showed you the way to fame? At least she was having sex with someone famous… I had no idea who Brian Pumper was until I looked it up and I still really don’t.

tasty doughnuts, but I want the cash more

FAYETTEVILLE, NC (WBTV/WRAL) – A Krispy Kreme store in Fayetteville lost $5000 after store employees accidentally handed it out to a lucky customer.

The incident was initially reported as a theft of the store’s take for the day, WRAL-TV reported.

Instead, it turns out that a drive-through clerk handed over the revenue for the day to a drive through customer on Friday, Fayetteville police Sgt. Dan Grubb told WRAL.

The mix up happened because the store manager usually places the money in a doughnut box – in order to conceal it from possible theft, police said.

The store manager typically puts the box full of money near the drive through window and then drives her own car around – and picks up the cash-filled doughnut box through the window, WRAL reported.

A clerk who was unfamiliar with the routine passed the money out to a customer at the Bragg Boulevard store, police told WRAL.

By noon Monday WRAL reported that no one had returned the money.

Copyright 2010 WBTV. All rights reserved. WRAL contributed to this report.

Really?  Do you think that someone would really return the money?  I would keep the loot and just would find a new krispy kreme to go get my doughnuts…

Also, why are you putting money into a doughnut box?  Don’t they make safes and even money bags for this?

fashion your seat belts, its going to be a bumpy ride.....to jail

Sometimes, you want to tell someone that they can take this job and shove it.  But, before the words come out of your mouth, you realize the ramifications of taking that action.  You curse them quietly and then keep it moving.

Meet Steven Slater.  He should have been in Eminem’s video for Guilty Conscience

A JetBlue flight attendant got into an argument with a passenger on a jetliner arriving at John F. Kennedy International Airport Monday, then grabbed a beer from the galley, deployed an emergency exit slide and fled the plane, authorities said.

And though he could be seen smiling as authorities led him away from his nearby home in the Belle Harbor section of Queens, Steven Slater’s acquaintances and his apparent profile on a social networking site indicated that he has been dealing with some stressful events in his life.

Now, this is the difference in reading the MSN story and reading the NY Daily News.  Here is the first part of how they report  their story.

A JetBlue flight attendant blew his top, grabbed some beer and bolted out an emergency slide at Kennedy Airport Monday – then headed home to have sex with his boyfriend.

Now, why that information is necessary, I am not sure, but it does get you thinking about their readership and how they are doing.  MSN continues…

Slater was awaiting arraignment Tuesday in the New York City borough of Queens on charges of criminal mischief, reckless endangerment and trespassing. He remained in custody overnight.

By Monday night, several Facebook pages had been set up in tribute to Slater, who is facing charges of criminal mischief, reckless endangerment and trespassing, with many users of the social networking site expressing support for him for walking off the job. One such page had more than 5,000 fans early Tuesday.

Twitter users also showed support, with declarations such as “Steven Slater is totally my new hero” and “Steven Slater for SNL host!”

Slater was working on JetBlue Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh when he got into an argument with the passenger, who was pulling down baggage from an overhead bin, the Port Authority said.

The luggage apparently hit Slater in the head and he asked for an apology, but the passenger refused, the agency said.

As the plane was landing, Slater got on the public-address system and cursed at the passenger, the Port Authority said.

He then grabbed at least one beer, activated the slide, slid down and went to his car, it said. Port Authority police were notified about 25 minutes later.

If you are going to go out, then go out on top and Slater did…

Phil Catelinet, a passenger on the flight, said on the TODAY show that Slater ” was smiling — he was happy he had done this. He was happy he was done with his job at JetBlue.”

“I think it’s funny that he could quit his job that way … [but] I don’t think he thought this through.”

‘One day at a time’
A MySpace profile appearing to belong to Slater notes that: “Beating alcoholism and substance abuse ‘one day at a time’ has opened up new worlds of opportunity for me, and I am so thankful to those who have guided me along the path to successful living, and given me new wings to fly. See you above the clouds. …”

So much for sobriety…here is drinking to you Steven Slater!

F you stupid passenger!

Slater’s former roommate, John Rochelle, told The New York Times that Slater was rarely home, and often traveled to Thousand Oaks, Calif., to care for his ailing mother.

A neighbor of Slater’s mother told the newspaper that he had also cared for his father, who died of Lou Gehrig’s disease.

“It could be the pressure of his mother’s illness, because that’s not the type of behavior or conduct that Steve exhibits,” neighbor Ron Franz said. “He’s a very conscientious, responsible individual.”

A woman who answered a phone at a previous residence listed for Slater in Thousand Oaks, Calif., identified herself as his mother but said she wasn’t speaking to the media.

The district attorney told NBC News that Slater had not yet been arraigned, but that was likely to happen at a Tuesday morning court session.

JetBlue Airways Corp. said in a statement that it was working with the Federal Aviation Administration and Port Authority police to investigate the matter.

It said the safety of its customers and crew members was never at risk. JetBlue would not say how long Slater had been employed by the company.

A National Transportation Safety Board official said the incident was a result of “a little too much cabin pressure.”

The Associated Press and NBC News contributed to this report.

One is real, the other from a movie....can you tell which is which?

The only one he really hurt is himself…

An attorney for Plaxico Burress poured cold water on the story that Burress might be just weeks away from stepping out of a New York prison.

Lawyer Peter Frankel told the New York Daily News that while Burress has a work release application pending, it’s no sure thing that prison officials will grant it and still a long shot that they would allow him to return to the NFL this season.

“To say he’ll be out in two to three weeks is certainly premature,” Frankel told the paper.

The New York Post reported on Wednesday that Burress was weeks away from a potential release. Frankel explained to the News that it was a flawed analysis.

“That was somebody going to visit him, and saying he was hopeful he might be moved in two to three weeks,” Frankel said, “and suddenly that turned into ‘He’ll be out in two to three weeks.’ ”

And if prison officials grant work release to Burress, they may prevent him from returning to the NFL until after his sentence expires next year.

A prison spokesman told the News that work-release inmates normally perform their service in the community.

— Sean Leahy

With the football season close by and players starting to report to training camp, the urge to do something that he has done most his life is starting to creep in again.  The feeling of going to raining camp, even though no one really likes it, is ingrained into every players DNA.  Just look at the drama with the Brett Favre situation.  Hopefully he gets out and returns to the field.

Nothing better than a crack and peanut butter sandwich! The rocks give it such a great texture...

but seriously, it was about time that this disparity got fixed.  We here at Too Old are not pro crack,  but at least make the sentencing fair between two similar (if not equal) drugs. Although after watching this video, maybe we should make crack harder to get, or raise the punishment for having it.   Ignore the singing in the beginning, but the rest of the video is hilarious…

The Miami Herald puts the news into context

WASHINGTON — The House of Representatives passed a historic bill Wednesday that narrows sentencing disparities between crack and powder cocaine convictions, which civil rights and civil liberties experts say contributed to the disproportionate imprisonment of African-Americans in recent decades.

Now, I want to clear something up here.  the people getting arrested are crackheads, and/or crack dealers.  Let’s not make it seem like they were caught up in a police sting through entrapment.  The one thing to remember is that they would have been in jail for dealing powder cocaine as well.  So, the numbers would have been similar, minus the people who would not have gotten involved in the coke game due to finances and connections.  It’s not like with coke they give you a free pass or anything…

I believe in WHITE POWER....wait I meant WHITE POWDER...CRACK!

The Senate passed its version of the bill in March. President Barack Obama, who during the 2008 presidential campaign said the current legal disparity “cannot be justified and should be eliminated,” is expected to sign the legislation.

By voice vote, the House altered a law implemented in 1986 during the early phase of the crack cocaine epidemic. It required anyone convicted of possession of 5 grams of crack to be sentenced to at least five years in prison.

Many lawmakers and organizations such as the NAACP and the American Civil Liberties Union complained for nearly a quarter-century that the law was unfair because someone convicted of crack possession got the same mandatory sentence as someone convicted of possessing 100 times that amount of powder cocaine, a drug more popular among whites.

Then keep your crack in powder form, until it is time to smoke up!.  Or, just don’t do crack. Because we all know crack is whack!

A 2009 report by the Sentencing Project, a liberal advocacy group, found that drug use rates were similar among racial and ethnic groups, but that sentencing among the groups for cocaine violations was vastly different, in large part because of the disparity between sentences for crack and powder cocaine.

In 2006, 81.8 percent of crack cocaine defendants were black, 8.8 percent were white and 8.4 percent were Hispanic, according the Sentencing Project report. For the same year, 57.5 percent of powder cocaine defendants were Hispanic, 27 percent were African-American and 14.7 were percent white.

Well, Crack is cheap and who doesn’t like a bargain!

Did you say 5 o'clock crack giveaway!

“African American drug defendants have a 20 percent greater chance of being sentenced to prison than white drug defendants,” the Sentencing Project report said. “Between 1994 and 2003, the average time served by African Americans for drug offenses increased by 62 percent, compared to an increase of 17 percent for white drug offenders.”

The House bill raises the five-year mandatory minimum sentencing trigger for crack possession from five grams to 28 grams and eliminates mandatory minimum sentencing for simple possession of crack. Possession of 500 grams of powder cocaine carries a mandatory minimum five years in prison under the bill.

“In passing the Fair Sentencing Act today, the House sent a bill to President Obama that is a step forward in addressing the fairness of our sentencing laws,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif. “This legislation reduces the disparity between sentences for crack and powder cocaine – a step long overdue.”

Civil rights groups applauded the House vote and urged Obama to sign the bill quickly.

“Because of the mandatory minimum jail sentence for those convicted of possession of 5 grams of crack cocaine or more, people of color are being put in prisons at much higher rates than their Caucasian counterparts, and the judges have no discretion to mitigate the sentence for first-time or nonviolent offenders or special circumstances,” NAACP President Benjamin Jealous said. “This legislation is just the first step in eliminating disparities in sentencing, and we will continue to push for the elimination of this racially discriminatory sentencing disparity.”

How about we push to get people off crack?  I know the law had a racial bias to it.  But, let’s not celebrate like this is Brown vs. Board of Education or anything.  The specter of drugs is something that the communities need to work on.  This might be a first step, but keeping the kids off crack might be something to work on as well.

break your mothers back...

Just the tip, just for a minute...

Lindsey is only in this movie for a hot minute and of course, she has a nude scene in it.  It clearly will not be a Two Mules for Sister Sara moment… She is going to be reduced to these types of roles unless she gets her act together.

Lindsay Lohan is no stranger to shocking and judging by stills and posters recently released for her next movie the troubled starlet intends to keep fanning the flames of controversy.

A new poster for Machete, directed by Robert Rodriguez, shows Lohan posing as a nun, in full habit, licking the barrel of a gun.

A still from the movie has also been released showing Lohan’s character, The Sister, pointing a handgun at the camera.

Robert Rodriguez was clutch in the movie El Marachi, so I am obviously going to give this movie a look-see.  But, really, for the other actors. De Niro, Don Johnson and Steven Seagal are in the movie and they will make it worth bootlegging.

Is it just me, or does she have a look on her face that says, " I am soooo confused?"

Doesn’t that assume that you have some talent?

I bet that most of you don’t have any idea who she is, or what her talent is.

No, she is not on American Idol, although that would have been my first guess.  The LA Times explains why…

Rescued teen sailor Abby Sunderland has hired a talent agent and will use her public profile to “inspire others to follow their dreams,” her spokesman said.

Sunderland, 16, signed, head of an Australian-based public relations and talent management firm, to handle her business affairs. Mercer had been serving in a pro bono capacity as Sunderland’s spokesman for the last few weeks.

Public fascination over Sunderland’s aborted attempt to sail around the world by herself has raised her profile significantly, Mercer said in a statement released this week.

“Abby is very marketable,” he said. “She is popular across the world, has followed her dream, overcome challenges and survived. She is an inspiration.”

Why is she marketable?  Is failure a selling point these days?

Mercer debunked media reports that Abby is on her way to personally thank her Australian rescuers. The teen is resting at home with her family and a new baby brother after a “huge few weeks,” Mercer said.

A future trip to Australia is possible, he said. Other than a media conference, Abby’s only public appearance since returning to her Thousand Oaks home was at a Fourth of July parade in Duarte, he said.

Sunderland was plucked from the Indian Ocean by a fishing vessel last month after her 40-foot-sloop Wild Eyes  was hit by a giant wave and lost its mast. Supporters hailed the girl’s adventurous spirit, but detractors criticized her parents for allowing her to take the trip.

— Catherine Saillant

So, even after reading this, what is her talent?  Getting lost?  Having to be rescued by other sailors?  I just don’t get it.  The story is not fascinating, it is a sign of someone who was over her head.  The message should be, Kids, don’t follow you dreams if they are going to get you killed.

Where is Samuel L. Jackson when we need him?

Wow, really?  Maggots?  Who is rolling on planes with spoiled meat?

Maggots force plane back to gate in Atlanta ATLANTA — Maggots falling from an overhead bin from a spoiled container of meat forced a US Airways flight to return to the gate so the bin could be cleaned. Passenger Donna Adamo said she noticed a couple of flies on the Monday flight when she got to her seat but didn’t think much of it. Then, as the plane was taxiing, she heard a passenger behind her causing a commotion and refusing to take her seat. “Then I heard the word ‘maggot’ and that kind of got everybody creeped out,” she said. “All of a sudden, I felt somebody flick the back of my hair and on the front of me came a maggot, which I flicked off me.”

That's a large maggot! (okay, it's a snake...) Finally, Samuel L. comes to the rescue

A passenger had the container in a carry-on bag and brought it on Monday’s flight heading from Atlanta to Charlotte, N.C., said US Airways spokesman Todd Lehmacher. The pilot announced that they were returning to the gate because of a “minor emergency on board” and the flight attendants told everyone to sit down and be calm, Adamo said. “I felt like they were crawling all over me because it only takes one maggot to upset your world,” she said. “And as they’re telling us to stay calm and seated, I see a maggot looking back at me and I’m thinking, ‘These are anaerobic, flesh-eating larvae that the flight attendants don’t have to sit with.'” A shaky cell phone video shot by Adamo as passengers deplaned shows a small white maggot wriggling across a seat. Once the plane returned to the gate, the passengers were asked to get off, and a crew boarded to clean up the mess, Lehmacher said. The flight then continued on to Charlotte, where the plane was taken out of service and fumigated “out of an abundance of caution.” The passenger who brought the spoiled meat on board did not get back on the plane and was put on another flight, Lehmacher said. Other passengers were told their connecting flights in Charlotte would be held for them, said Adamo, who was traveling home to Syracuse, N.Y., and made her connection. It’s unclear why the spoiled meat was brought on the plane, and Adamo said she didn’t notice a foul smell at any point. “You can buy meat anywhere,” Adamo said. “I don’t know what special piece of meat was in Atlanta that needed to get to Charlotte, but it affected hundreds, if not thousands … of passengers, and is a health risk.” Associated Press Online Video Producer Myra Lopez contributed to this report.

Not that Pearl Bailey, but I would defintely have the blues...

Not that Pearl Bailey, but I have the blues now...

I threw up in my mouth.  Not a little bit, but a lot….and I think that I might get sick again.  What goes through the minds of people like this?

Wow...

A 72-YEAR-OLD granny is having an incestuous affair with her own GRANDSON — and the pair are set to have a BABY, according to reports.

Grey-haired Pearl Carter has allegedly began a bizarre relationship with her 26-year-old grandchild Phil Bailey.

Pearl, from Indiana, is now using her pension to pay $54,000 (£35,000) to a surrogate mother so they can have a child, say reports in New Idea magazine in New Zealand.

Pearl said: “I’m not interested in anyone else’s opinion. I am in love with Phil and he’s in love with me. Soon I’ll be holding my son or daughter in my arms and Phil will be the proud dad.”

The story has swept the internet.

But doubts have been raised by internet bloggers because of the lack of detail.

I would hope that this isn’t true, but I also know that some people are sick and need help.

Phil is the son of Pearl’s daughter Lynette Bailey — who the pensioner put up for adoption when she was just 18, the magazine reported.

When Lynette died, Phil tracked down his long lost gran — 46 years his senior — and they started their strange relationship.

Pearl told New Idea: “From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship. For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.”

Then you should have controlled yourself.  Plus, eecchh!  Not that old people should not have sex, because they should, but upon first meeting your flesh and blood you get aroused?

The pair spent their first week together shopping, bowling and eating out.

Pearl said: “I called Phil into my bedroom, sat him on the bed, and then I leant over and kissed him.

“I expected rejection but instead he kissed me back.”

You should have worked on that feeling of rejection and it should have never gotten this far.

Phil told the magazine he had the same feelings towards Pearl.

He revealed: “I wanted to kiss her there and then. My feelings were overwhelming.

“I love Pearl with all my heart. I’ve always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous. Now I’m going to be a dad and I can’t wait.

“Yes, we get laughed at and bullied when we go out and kiss in public but we don’t care. You can’t help who you fall for.”

You should get laughed at, but you should never get bullied.  Period.  I am still queasy thinking about it though….

The pair have asked 30-year-old Roxanne Campbell to carry their child.

Pearl said: “I am finally going to be a mum and not forced to give up my child. Phil’s going to be a great dad. I never in a million years thought at 72 I’d be ‘pregnant’ and in love with my grandson.

“I make no apologies and I believe God’s given me a second chance.”

Why blame God?  What did he have to do with anything?  You control yourself.  Even though she is not going to have the kid, they are having sex and that is just wrong.  It is not the age thing, but you are related.   And that is getting me sick again…excuse me…

Pearl says the relationship is not wrong after a friend told her about Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) syndrome, which occurs when close relatives meet as adults and find they are attracted to each other.

She said: “I could now understand my feelings and realise they weren’t wrong.”

GSA sounds like some shit that someone made up to excuse their twisted behaviors.

Pearl was 18 when she fell pregnant with daughter Lynette. She was living with her Catholic parents in Indiana and they insisted she give the baby away.

They organised a private adoption and Pearl never saw her baby girl again.

Pearl went on to marry but she never had any more children. Instead she searched for her lost daughter until finally giving up hope 15 years ago.

Phil met Pearl for the first time in 2006 after tracking her down when Lynette died from brain cancer.

All I can hope is that I never hear a story like this again…The kid will be mocked forever.  For no reason of their own.