All I want for Christmas is...


There is really not a reason that I can grip on.  Pay what you owe.

This Daily News story is not a story about prostitution. Okay, this is a story about prostitution, but not the reasons that you think.  I am pro-choice.  If a woman (or a man) wants to sell a commodity (their body) to a buyer (john, or trick) at an agreed upon price, that is just capitalism.  I know that people will use the child sex slave scandals as a reason to disagree with prostitution, but incorrect usage is not a reason to deny…in theory consenting males and females should be able to enter into an agreement.

Sex is one of the biggest weapons anyone can utilize.  How many of you have done something to get into the sheets?  How many of us have done something like faked interest in something as an entry to starting a relationship?  Yes, some relationships, that are strong, are built on an initial lie.  Even for the people of, who just happen to bombard the ESPN airwaves with their commercials.

Really, pay what you owe…

CARTAGENA, COLOMBIA – The Daily News published the first photos of the Colombian call girl whose encounter with a cheapskate Secret Service agent set off the agency’s worst sex scandal.

Dania Suarez, the 24-year-old single mom of a 9-year-old son, has gone into hiding as the scandal mushrooms, according to neighbors.

A friend stopped by late Wednesday to pick up her dog, a pug named Valentino, they said.

Suarez, originally from the island of San Andres, is a quiet tenant who rents a small apartment in a hacienda-style home for about $600 a month, neighbors said.

They often saw her go out late and come home at dawn, dangling her high heels in her hand.

ASSETS...Good enough to spank...

“She never told us what she did for a living but it was obvious,” said Maria Quintero, 31, who lives on the first floor of the three story white building.

“She was home all day and left late at night looking very nice,” Quintero said.

So, they knew what she did, but it was not a problem for them.  All seemingly agreed that she was a good mother, which must be hard, if you are having a kid at fifteen.

“I asked her if she worked, she said no. I asked her if her boyfriend helped her, she said no. Then it hit me.”

Another neighbor, Maria Estela Cubides, 45, said Suarez seemed to have a glamorous life out on the town, but kept to herself at home.

“She always left late at night. She traveled a lot, to fancy destinations,” Cubides said. “She never brought guys home. She kept to herself. I’m surprised she did all that noise to get her money. She’s not that kind of person.”

Another neighbor, Dona Betty, said Suarez told people she was a dancer.

“She showed up early in the morning, with her heels on her hands,” she said. “We suspected, but she keeps to herself. She is a good mother.”

Here is where the problem lies.  Prostitution is legal in Columbia, it is a business transaction.  PAY WHAT YOU OWE!

Prostitution is legal in Colombia, and escorts, hookers and streetwalkers crowd the streets of the tourist districts.

Suarez has said she was a “high class” escort who made $800 – 1.4 million pesos – a night to dress well and provide sparkling company as well as have sex.

The average Colombian household earns $287 a month.

Eleven Secret Service agents and nine military servicemen are under investigation for hiring 20 or 21 hookers in Cartagena last week when they were supposed to be preparing for President Obama’s April 13 arrival at a regional summit.

Suarez was one of the girls brought back to the posh Hotel Caribe to party with the G-men on the night of April 11.
According to the story Suarez has told friends and the press, the still-unnamed agent kicked her out of his room the next morning with only $28 in cab fare.

She caused a ruckus in the hallway, demanding her full payment, while the agent remained locked in the locked hotel room and wouldn’t come out.

Dude, just pay her.  Just pay her and we never hear about this, you get to keep your job and you don’t hurt the president. She did her part, met her terms in the contract.  Being too drunk is not an excuse.  This is also the reason to get the money first, because of fools like this.

Soon Cartagena cops got involved and while the payment dispute was ultimately settled by a whip-round among some of the other Secret Service agents, word reached the US Embassy.The men were ordered home, put on leave and stripped of their security clearances.

Three Secret Service agents, including two supervisors, were ousted Wednesday.

CBS News named two of the three Thursday: Greg Stokes, a supervisor who handled the bomb sniffing dogs, was fired. He is fighting to keep his job, exercising his option to appeal the firing.

Supervisor David Chaney, who was allowed to retire, was a second generation Secret Service agent: his dad, George Chaney, protected President Johnson.

More were on the verge of being canned.“Several more people will be pushed out either today or tomorrow,” Rep. Peter King (D-NY) said Thursday.

Two secret service agents have been given polygraphs and more are expected, two sources said.

ABC News reported that the men had booked a party space at the hotel expecting a bash for about 30 people.

“That allegation is coming from the media, but it is being checked out,” King said.

White House officials have said the president’s security was not compromised but investigators are looking into whether the agents left sensitive papers in their rooms where the hookers could have had access to them.

In addition, people on scene said the unnamed agent was still roaring drunk the next morning, when he got into the dispute with Suarez, and that could have affected his job performance.

It really is simple. You got to sample the goods...

tasty doughnuts, but I want the cash more

FAYETTEVILLE, NC (WBTV/WRAL) – A Krispy Kreme store in Fayetteville lost $5000 after store employees accidentally handed it out to a lucky customer.

The incident was initially reported as a theft of the store’s take for the day, WRAL-TV reported.

Instead, it turns out that a drive-through clerk handed over the revenue for the day to a drive through customer on Friday, Fayetteville police Sgt. Dan Grubb told WRAL.

The mix up happened because the store manager usually places the money in a doughnut box – in order to conceal it from possible theft, police said.

The store manager typically puts the box full of money near the drive through window and then drives her own car around – and picks up the cash-filled doughnut box through the window, WRAL reported.

A clerk who was unfamiliar with the routine passed the money out to a customer at the Bragg Boulevard store, police told WRAL.

By noon Monday WRAL reported that no one had returned the money.

Copyright 2010 WBTV. All rights reserved. WRAL contributed to this report.

Really?  Do you think that someone would really return the money?  I would keep the loot and just would find a new krispy kreme to go get my doughnuts…

Also, why are you putting money into a doughnut box?  Don’t they make safes and even money bags for this?

These days are long gone...focus on the books

I certainly hope so.  The time of prison might have shown him that playtime is over…

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Ohio State University says former football star Maurice Clarett has been granted re-entry to pursue his degree after he spent more than three years in prison.

They are not escorting you to the Heisman ceremony or class

Ohio State spokesman Jim Lynch says in a statement that Clarett started classes on Monday after he was readmitted by the College of Education and Human Ecology, where he was originally enrolled.

Clarett says in a statement that it is a “surreal feeling to be back at Ohio State” and that he doesn’t want to be a “distraction or nuisance” to the football team or other students.

Clarett led the Buckeyes to the 2002 national championship in his only college season. He pleaded guilty in 2006 to aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon, and served 3½ years in a Toledo prison, where he took college-credit courses.

Maybe he got some credits in prison…I hope him good luck and that he truly learned from this lesson.  The education can take him farther than football…

Just because the people bootleg, that doesn’t mean that you can steal right out in the open…

I was in a store recently and I saw someone totally steal something.  Now, I am down with the Stop Snitching campaign and I didn’t report this petty theft that I saw.  When I saw it happening, the first thing that ran through my mind was the guy who got killed for staling toothpaste.  I ran the numbers and thought that this was small enough that the harm to society was not outweighed by my pledge not to snitch and my desire not to get involved.  This person got away scot-free. The same may not be true for Florida Governor Charlie Crist.

Talking Heads singer sues Fla. governor for $1M
May 25, 2010, 3:29 PM EST

MIAMI (AP) — Florida Gov. Charlie Crist is being sued for $1 million for using a Talking Heads song in a campaign ad without the band’s permission.

The band’s ex-lead singer David Byrne sued the governor Monday in Tampa for using “Road to Nowhere” in an online attack ad against Marco Rubio. He’s the likely Republican nominee in the race for Florida’s open U.S. Senate seat. Crist is running as an independent.

Here is the song, preformed live at the Greek Theater on campus at UC Berkeley.

Crist’s campaign spokeswoman didn’t immediately return a call seeking comment.

Byrne said in a statement his fans might not respect him as much if he lets his songs be used in ads.

Sen. John McCain was sued for using Jackson Browne‘s song “Running on Empty” during his presidential campaign. The lawsuit was settled and included a pledge by the GOP not to use any musicians’ work without permission.

This is clearly a case of when will they learn.  If you stole the music, the crime will be right out on front street for all to see.

Our boy Messly Snipes has had a rough week, poor guy. But he only has himself to blame because deep inside he knew where this was going.  Messly forgot something so basic I don’t even have to repeat it. You already know.

Anyway our good man went out last week and did a little too much drinking and met a girl and then fell for her. You know the type. They are always the same when you’re at that type of place doing that type of drinking. Maybe it has something to do with context or circumstance. Either way I think Little Man Tate painted the best picture of this girl and her goals in their song “What? What You Got”

You don’t need to know what happened or didn’t happen next because if I hear it from Messly it’s a long long story that’s full of what if’s and excuses. Let me just say it was enough for our boy to ask her out on a date.

What was Mr. Snipes thinking??? He knew who she was. And it wasn’t good. It couldn’t be any more clear to any honest conscience listening or watching their late night charade. Women in these circumstances don’t lie to men. We just lie to ourselves and Mess was lying like a con at his parole hearing. Amy Winehouse is just no good. I love her for it but I’m not cooking her dinner.

Needless to say when they met for their big date it didn’t end as expected. Messly left broken-hearted and Ms. Fat-booty left with some other Stiff. Sucks, but I think we can all learn or relearn a lesson here…. The door to that Peaceful Easy Feeling we seek some nights should be slammed in our face before we go even leave our homes because all we’re really looking for is just a piece of ASS. Don’t even crack the door or look through the peep hole.

Can you pass the kibble and bits? I think I will have your finest bottle of toilet water...

The things people have to do for money are staggering.  One thing that will get me to start working is the thought that without the job, you are on welfare, or worse.  The specter of losing my job drives me to work harder.  In fact, during my spring break, I am going to go into the office and crack out a bunch of work. Plus, I have to work for my future.  The blog is not is not going to pay for my old age and bad habits.

But, growing old is not something that you should fear.  If you plan properly, you can insure that your future is taken care of.  Some people are not willing to think ahead.  But, make sure you have a plan. According to the NY Post, one way that you can plan for your future is crime and/or pudding.

Check your boxes of pudding....

The proof was in the pudding.

An elderly Long Island husband and wife were busted yesterday for tampering with boxes of Jell-O pudding — replacing the contents with sand and salt and then returning them to stores for the $1.40-a-pop refund, officials said.

Alexander Clement, 68, and his wife, Christine Clement, 64, of East Northport disposed of the evidence afterward — by cooking up and eating the contents of the boxes they had emptied, authorities said.

Their puddings of choice? Pistachio and butterscotch.

Police said the couple struck four stores a total of five times. Christine would buy about 10 boxes each time. Her hubby was the driver.

NO DESSERT FOR YOU: Alexander and Christine Clement  allegedly tampered with Jell-O to get refunds.

<!– ad(quigo_intext,/news,news_story) sports_story_lower
sports_page quigo_lower
871776 440 225 * –>


When the pair got home, she allegedly would empty the boxes’ contents and replace them with plastic sandwich bags filled with the sand and salt.

After resealing the boxes, her husband would drive her back to the stores, where she would return them for a refund, police said.

The scheme fell apart after a customer who bought one of the resealed boxes complained. Police traced the boxes back to the Clements.

But authorities said the couple — who are well-off and have been married 40 years — is more to be pitied. Christine Clement is suffering from “an age-related mental issue,” police said.

“This was a bizarre story to begin with, and it just got worse when we found out what happened. It’s sad,” said Suffolk Police Lt. Michael Murphy.

“These aren’t bad people. They never had any problems before. It was a complete aberration. They are very apologetic.”

No, they are bad people.  At least they were not poisoning people like the ones that tamper aspirin, but they are not very far off.  When you have pudding and its a little salty, now you know why.

Also, I am going to be really pissed if I decide to make pudding and there is a bunch of sand or salt.  I am going to go off on someone.

Choose your weapon! Wait, this isn't a duel....

We here are Too Old are not attempting to tell you how to commit crimes.  But, we will tell you what NOT to do.  One of the more stupid criminals that have come across out desk is Jennifer Mercado.  If you are ever thinking about committing some credit card fraud, Ms. Mercado shows you want not to do…

Jennifer Mercado allegedly swipes fellow juror’s credit cards – during trial of credit card thief!

BY Brendan Brosh and Kerry Burke

Originally Published:Tuesday, March 16th 2010, 11:47 PM
Updated: Thursday, March 18th 2010, 7:21 PM

There was more than one criminal in this courtroom.

The Bronx trial of an accused credit card thief was thrown into turmoil when a juror’s plastic was stolen and used for a shopping spree – allegedly by another juror!

Jennifer Mercado, 20, went from sitting in judgment to sitting in a cell after she brazenly waltzed in from lunch breaks loaded down with bags.

The prosecutor of the trial – which also involved a stolen credit card – helped nail her by reviewing the store’s security video.

Mercado doesn’t deny she used fellow juror John Postrk‘s American Express card to buy more than $500 worth of loot, but she apparently didn’t learn much about reasonable doubt while doing her civic duty.

“The guy did give me permission to use his credit card,” she told the Daily News.

Asked why Postrk would do that, Mercado came up with an alibi worthy of “Law & Order.”

“He came on to me,” she said. “It’s a he-said, she-said situation. In court, they will find out he’s lying.”

Hopefully, that is all she is going to say.  The dude likes your profile after sitting next to you and he starts whispering sweet nothings in your ear.  Then, to seal the deal, he doesn’t ask you to dip to the closet hotel so he can have carnal relations, he just causally drops his AMEX on you?  What did he say? “Here is my card, go buy yourself and others something nice?”  What was the rush?  You already stole the card, what about waiting until you are out of court for the day, before you go on your big shopping spree?

Postrk, 49, who works for the Children’s Aid Society, said prosecutors asked him not to talk about the case.

He and Mercado were sitting on the trial of Warren Stewart, arrested in 2006 for burglary, grand larceny and possessing a stolen credit card.

A perfect example of life imitating art.  Or stupid following stupid.

Why Yes I did. It is the reason I stole and committed my crime DURING THE TRIAL!

On March 8, Postrk’s American Express cards and MetroCard were swiped from his coat, court documents charge.

That day, and the next two days, his card was used at local stores during jurors’ lunch hour.

When Postrk reported the theft to the judge on March 10, he already had a suspect in mind because the charges on his American Express account came from stores where Mercado had been shopping.

“It’s the person that came back with the baggage,” Postrk told Judge Barbara Newman.

He noted that a court officer commented on Mercado’s bags.

“As we were leaving one of the court officers mentioned, ‘Oh, that’s a really nice bag,’ ” Postrk said. “And I just happened to look. And she did a double-take back, like I scared her.”

Assistant District Attorney Jacob Kaplan, who was prosecuting Stewart, investigated Postrk’s claims during a recess.

With another prosecutor and investigator, he went to stores across from the Bronx Hall of Justice and viewed videos of a woman who appeared to be Mercado using Postrk’s card, court transcripts say.

Twenty minutes later, Mercado came back to one of the stores and tried to make a purchase. A manager asked her for ID and she apparently got spooked.

“She pulled out what [the manager] believed to be another American Express card in what he believed was John Postrk’s name,” Kaplan told the judge.

“And when he turned around, she dropped the credit card and walked out of the store.”

Isn’t that when she should have known that the gig was up?  That is when you drop everything and walk away.  The fact that she went back to the scene of the crime (re: the Courthouse) tells you that this was probably her first rodeo with stealing credit cards.

At the Jeans Plus shop, Mercado made quite an impression, buying four pairs of shoes, including a pair of Nike Air Jordans.

“She was talking nice to me, asking for a discount,” manager Jason Ayoub said.

Mercado was arrested March 12 and charged with grand larceny, stolen property, identity theft and unlawful use of a credit card. She faces four years.

Her lawyer declined comment.

Mercado was removed from the Stewart case but Postrk stayed. The jury acquitted Stewart of having a stolen credit card, but convicted him of burglary.

Ironic the person on trial was innocent of the credit card crime…when Mercado is going to be found guilty, because of the film.

Stewart’s lawyer, Soraya Hurtado, asked for a mistrial because of the incident but was denied.

The district attorney’s office declined to comment, but word of the case spread quickly.

“You’ve got to be really stupid to do that in front of a judge, court officers, law enforcement and all the cameras in this building,” said one courthouse employee.

Local boy stays home and doesn't play for the Gophers

This is what the USA Today and ESPN are reporting.
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — Prized recruit Royce White says he’s leaving the Minnesota basketball team because of his legal troubles and the stress they are causing his family and the program.

White makes the announcement in a video posted on YouTube early Thursday called, “Royce White — Last Interview.”

White is currently indefinitely suspended from the team while police investigate the theft of a laptop computer from a dorm room in November. White says he’s innocent.

However, he says the investigation has been stressful for his family and the program, so he’s quitting. He says he has no plans to transfer to another school.

The 6-8, 250-pound forward was Minnesota’s top recruit last season. He hasn’t been practicing with the team while suspended.

A university spokesman says the team had no comment.

This another reason why college athletes should be paid. Simple things that are not provided (like clothes to fit in more) from a scholarship can cause you to attempt to get what you want. (Obviously not a justification to rob and steal, since there are the vast majority that might not have things, but do not go out and rob for them)  The laptop thing seems overblown.  They are clearly sweating him for no good reason.

This situation and the Tennessee football incident with N’Keese Richardson and the holdup should be more reason to look into the Billion with a B dollar industry that less than one percent of the athletes will go on to earn money in that field (whether it is football or basketball) The schools are getting rich off the backs of it’s student athletes. Why not set up a trust fund for those athletes that trigger when they get their diploma? That way, you encourage school and balance riches. You can even dole out bits of it during the year, with the majority of it coming with successful completion of steps to earn the degree. If you can leave early to the NBA, you can get paid, or if you graduate, you can get a little nest egg to get your life started on the right foot.

It would never happen, because it makes sense and the fatcats don’t want to give up their loot…

Good luck to you, whether it’s overseas or in the NBDL.