Tiger Woods Porn Video…you knew it was only a matter of time….

December 11, 2009

I predicted this here as soon as the porn start came out.  It had to happen. Now, EOnline and others are talking about it…

And now it’s time for the porn.

Following the tabloid coverage, the late-night jokes, the animated re-creations and even a commentary or two on National Public Radio, the Tiger Woods scandal has officially reached the phase in which someone turns the story into an excuse for people to engage in sex on camera.

Porn actors, that is—not Tiger or any of the various alleged lady friends. This is fiction.

E! News has obtained a copy of the script for Tiger’s Wood, which bills itself as the “official porn parody” of the non-golf exploits of the sports icon. The script riffs on the story and (presumably) makes up stuff where it might make things spicier.

How does it all turn out? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil it for you, but we’re pretty sure you can guess how this Tiger tale ends.

—Reporting by Marcus Mulic

But now the Huffington Post is reporting that the casting has been set.

Looks wholesome enough to play the wife


Porn star Kayden Kross tweeted that she has been cast as Tiger’s wife “porn-Elin,” and that Tyler Knight will play Tiger.

Meanwhile Tyler blogged, “I’m Tiger Woods, bitches.”

Tyler, I gotta give you daps for that.  Too funny….

Meanwhile Vivid, which is not producing “Tiger’s Wood,” is offering big bucks to any former Woods’ mistress who will star in a porn.

The company has also offered up to $1 million “to any paramour of Tiger Woods” who would star in a Vivid film.

Chickenheads, come out and grab your money.  You already sold him out for a few coins, why not grab the big prize?  The answer can’t be that you are too embarrassed to do porn.  Jamiee Grubbs, you are not, as we have pictures of you doing it already.  You should be the first to grab the loot, but some of you should not be far behind.  This is like a life preserver thrown out to you.  You have been played by the media.  They used you for ratings and now will throw you to the side.  You are famous, but really you are infamous.  Use this opportunity to get paid one more time.  The money will run out for the ones that settled for 100k.  You will buy a couple of things, and go on a trip or two and your money is gone.

“Our offer is to actual proven paramours of Tiger Woods who agree to star in a Vivid film and provide details and an explicit look of what Tiger experienced still holds,” Hirsch continued. “It seems the chance we’ll be taken up gets better as the days go on.”

That is going to be a little difficult to prove, but unfortunately, this will only encourage chickenheads to keep jim hats to preserve the semen.  Think that isn’t possible?  Remember this person?

Who keeps a semen stained dress and doesn't get it washed? A stanky hoe, thats who!. BTW, this portait is the best that I have seen her look.

The GAP blue dress was the straw that almost brought down the Clinton era.

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