The Chickens come home to roost: Tiger Woods is now linked with Seven Chickenheads…Where is Ronald Isley when you need him?

December 7, 2009

I can't believe that I got caught! Why can't my chickens keep the roost closed?

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger…

If you only read the blog carefully.  You got part of it down.  Do not talk and exercise your right to remain silent.   But, you violated one of the basic principles we espouse here at Too Old…. Do not buy your jumpoffs or side pieces anything!

Now, they have the proof and they are going to start cashing in, since the gravy train for most if not all of them is over.  Now that they have to eat on their own two feet, they are going to use you to continue to eat.

First, it was Rachel Uchitel, who started all the investigations into the private life of Eldrick Woods.

Nice, somewhat exotic looking, can clearly see what Tiger was seeing

Once the feeding frenzy started, she hired Gloria Allred as an attorney.  If you are a guy, when you hear that name, your hands go directly to your private parts, because that is what she is coming after….and she usually leaves with it.

Once that got out to the rest of the chickens, they had to get their little piece of the pie.  The Daily News is reporting about the Sultry Seven that are now linked to Woods.

Tiger Woodsother New York girl spent the day holed up in her Chelsea apartment Sunday after she was outed by the Daily News.

Cori Rist is now one of at least six women linked to the golf world’s top swordsman.

Now, did they really use “swordsman” in the article?  He is still known for golf and no one calls that a sword.  I know guys who ahve juggles seven women before and they are not swordsman, they are dudes who love the box.  I can’t blame them, if I could get away with juggling seven I would.  Actually, I wouldn’t sneak around.  I would just not get married.  That is your mistake tiger.  You went for wholesome, when you really wanted to get down and dirty.  Seven is not the world’s top.  Other players have that many baby’s mamas, so let’s not go crazy.

The 31-year-old leggy and busty blond spent Sunday calling friends, saying, “My involvement with Tiger Woods has just surfaced,” according to a pal.

Rist also had to explain the sudden media attention to her 7-year-old son, who has idolized Woods since his mother got him an autographed golf club from the Grand Slam-winning legend.

4 Responses to “The Chickens come home to roost: Tiger Woods is now linked with Seven Chickenheads…Where is Ronald Isley when you need him?”

  1. guenivere said

    Yes – Tiger got caught. That is bad for him. I’m more struck by how the women are acting. I realize that most sidepieces do have their own agenda, on the other hand, if you know you are a sidepiece (and what else would any of these women be to someone who is already married?) then you should know what comes with that: like keeping your mouth shut. Maybe I view this situation differently than other women, but if I chose to get involved with someone, knowing he was married and I was a sidepiece, then I also know that there is NO way he will be leaving his wife (or else he would have already), I don’t want him to leave his wife (if I wanted a committed partner, I would have turned my energies toward an available man), and I don’t want to deal with an enraged wife because someone blabbed. Maybe that’s how men and women can decide if they are capable of being a sidepiece. If you can keep your mouth shut – when it matters – then game on. If not, then definitely keep your mouth shut for all activities.

  2. Steve said


    I see why I think you are pretty awesome. IF YOU ARE A SIDEPIECE or JUMPOFF, KNOW YOUR ROLE!

    You are the main course, never an entree.

    That is why I like the last one the most. She is just like Jason in that all she has done is deny, deny, deny

  3. […] 11, 2009 I predicted this here as soon as the porn start came out.  It had to happen. Now, EOnline and others are talking about […]

  4. When my business partner and I received an email from Gloria this past Friday stating that she was suddenly free for our video interview, we were shocked and thrilled. We knew she was in the midst of the Tiger Woods case and as such, we were originally set to visit her Malibu home on Saturday. We later learned that she cancelled her press conference that, according to her daughter Lisa, was most likely due to a settlement from the parties at hand. Gloria invited us to her LA office for a 30 minute interview that I wished lasted all-day. She put her trial aside to talk about all things motherhood and empowerment. Gloria’s interview will be loaded to our site,, to inspire our online community of return to work and working moms. Gloria Allred is a woman who should be in the forefront of the news, not Tiger Woods (a man who can’t keep his club in his pants!).


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