Tufts University BANS SEX in your dorm room while your roommate is there…

October 1, 2009

Quit being so selective and I am sure you will find someone who will help butter your biscuits

Quit being so selective and I am sure you will find someone who will help butter your biscuits....Maybe it's the sour look on your face that prevents someone coming up to you and wanting to make out with you....

Really?  They have to make a rule about it?  What if I am just going to hit it softly and not bother anyone?

This reminds me of a local rap group that helped Tupac get some shine early in his career, Digital Underground and their song, “Freaks of the Industry”

The main part of the song that reminds me of college is this one. It is also the reason that I never lived in the dorms.  Ever.  Period.  Gotta become my own man.

Say you’re G’in’ [G’in’?]
Nobody else is seein’
And the freak that you’re wit’ is in front of you,
Bendin’ over naked, and she’s leanin’ on the dresser [Ooh yeah]
You’re lookin’ at her from the rear [Yeah]
She looks just like Vanessa [The right stuff]

Wow, and she really got better with age if that is possible.

Wow, and she really got better with age if that is possible.

Uh uh, not Vanessa with the singer career,
But the X-rated video queen,
Know what I mean? [Uh huh] A’ight, here’s the scene:

She probably will be anything goes....which is why the song mentions her and not Vanessa Williams

She probably will be anything goes....which is why the song mentions her and not Vanessa Williams

You’re lying on you’re back with your head on the edge of the bed,
The booty’s two feet from your head:
Should you: A, take the time to find a condom,

Dont worry, they are already pregnant!

Don't worry, they are already pregnant!

B, you walk right over and you pound ’em,

Call me Morimoto of the box!

Call me Morimoto of the box! Plus, I need this on a shirt and it might become my new avitar...

C, tell her that you want her love,

Well the answer is D, [D], all of the above.
So you’re freakin’ [freakin’], the furniture’s squeakin’ [squeakin’]
She’s tweakin’, sayin’ that she’s weak in the knees.
Cheek to cheek, and pound for pound,
You’re taxin’ it and waxin’ it and workin’ it around,
‘Til the booty starts makin’ that clappin’ sound,
Which is cool, but your friends are chillin’ in the other room.
The clappin’s getting louder, you don’t want them to clown you,
In this situation, what do you do: [What?]
A, you, plain and simply, back up off her
B, you hit it just a little bit softer,
C, you take it out and put it in het butt,
Well, D is what I do, so, yo, listen up:
I put a towel on the floor by the two inch gap under the door
Now they can’t see me any more.
Check the locks so they can’t clock, but they can listen.
There’ll be no bargin’ in and there’ll be no dissin’ [Dissin’]
Gettin’ back to my mission, break out the whipped cream and the cherries,
Then I go through all the fly positions:
My head under her leg under my arm under her toe.
She says, ‘I like it when you scream, baby let yourself go.’
I hit it and split it, lick it and quit it.
After the ride, put my clothes on and walk outside,
And before anybody gets a chance to speak,
I say, ‘Yo, don’t say nuttin’, I guess I’m just a freak!’

What more is it to say?  We have all been in that position (with some notable exceptions… I would imagine we can all think of some people who this might not be true for.)

From Laura Batchelor

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(CNN) — A new policy at Tufts University prohibits students in dorms from having sex while their roommate is in the room, according to the university’s 2009-2010 student handbook.

A school spokeswoman says students have expressed concerns over roommate having sex in the dorms.

The Massachusetts university’s formal rule also bars so-called “sexiling” — exiling a roommate from the room so the other roommate can engage in sexual activity.

The new policy “is really about consideration and respect for others and the need for students to be mindful of their roommates’ need for privacy, study and sleep,” university spokeswoman Kim Thurler told CNN.

She said while she did not have an exact number of complaints from students about their roommates’ behavior, “over the last few years, the Office of Residential Life and Learning received approximately a dozen expressions of concern about this issue.”

Callie Morton, a freshman at Tufts, told CNN affiliate WHDH-TV, “If someone is going to go and have sex while their roommate is in the room, I mean I think that’s kind of gross. I think it’s kind of funny that they would have to make a rule about it.” Video Watch Tufts students talk about policy »

The new guidelines for students hosting overnight guests say, “You may not engage in sexual activity while your roommate is present in the room. And sexual activity within your assigned room should not ever deprive your roommate(s) of privacy, study, or sleep time.”

Other students agree that the new rule is going to be difficult to implement.

“I don’t think it’s something that can really be enforced per se,” an unidentified Tufts University student told WHDH. “I don’t understand how that’s going to work.”

Thurler explained that if a problem is identified and brought to the attention of residence officials, the university will help the affected student have a conversation with his/her roommate to address the situation.

“In some cases, we might intervene on behalf of the student,” Thurler said, “and speak with their roommate directly and explain what is expected of them while they live in the residence halls.”

Thurler wouldn’t comment on possible disciplinary action by the university if a student breaks the rules.

Reading this, (Thanks B for the heads up) made me think of another funny time of when I was in college.

One of our non-posting crew members tells a hilarious story about being in the dorms and it totally applies here.  He was working at the Berkeley Debate Camp and living with a friend, who we will call “Tom” to protect the innocent.   Tom was fortunate in that he had his girlfriend there that summer working.   One night, they thought NCP was alseep and they starting going at it.  NCP rolled over, and acted like he was alseep once he heard, in hopes it would just end quickly.

Sometime during the act, Tom’s girlfriend asked Tom, “Do you think that I am smart?”  This is not a question that I would ask during the act, but who knows what was racing through her mind.  NCP tells this part with a little chuckle, and finishes with the punchline “Yes…. NOW TURN OVER!” and he went back to work.

He could have really believed in her intelligence. But, in that order, I think that he was concerned with something else.

just finishing.....that is what he was after...

just finishing.....that is what he was after...

By definition, That’s the shit that would get me mad…..

5 Responses to “Tufts University BANS SEX in your dorm room while your roommate is there…”

  1. Erik said

    Having been on both sides of this little situation I can totally relate. Trying to get your freak on all incognito is part of life, or at a minimum, part of the college experience (of course there are exceptions, ie. fools that just weren’t really getting their freak on at all while in college (*cough* Deuce *cough*)…
    On a side note, I have stayed in the dorms at the Tufts campus, and the two beds are really only a few feet apart, but still. The only people in favor of this new policy are people not getting any. LIVE a little!!

    • Steve said

      SO HAVE I…now that I think about it….and the beds are pretty close to each other, and by close I mean maybe 2-3 feet. At least at Berkeley, there is some more space, or bunkbeds.

      Now that I think about it, they shouldn’t get mad that I have the ole tie on the door to let you know I’m G’ing…you can come in IF you want, but I am not going to stop my roll for you. If you can manage, so can I.

      I thought about Deuce when I was crafting the story…he walked in on some though….

  2. Ronin Storm said

    Good ol’ quick-nut Jason never had this problem?

    Way to go Tufts. Make some more dorks for the working world to pamper. The young working force today can barely tie their shoes without blubbering over having to do it without an apology, a thanks, and a pat on the back for doing a good job.
    A large part of the college experience is learning how to deal with people in an environment away from home.
    Thanks Tufts Uni we now produce kids that can’t say “hurry up I got a test in the morning”, “y’all gonna have to go”, or my favorite “yo your girl is busted”.

  3. Guys does that apply to masturbation as well ? I’d hate to think that copulation is the only criteria where this ban applies . LOL, LOL, LOL !!! What’s Jenny from around the block to do , if she can’t use her dildo ? Or what of lil’ Toby who wants to slap that monkey ?

    Alan Parkins

  4. Dropped this piece on the failed US Olympic bid .

    It’s Rio Or Bust Baby ! …

    Alan Parkins

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