HA! HA! to all the iPhone hipsters meet my buddy Pre

June 4, 2009

I cannot be the only person out there that is sick of all the iPhone hipster losers that drank a little too much of the apple Kool Aid bragging about all the new apps they have on their phone. My thought is I need my phone to be a phone. That is the best phone it can be. I don’t really need the new space racer game if it screws up my phone from being the best that it can be. e.g the iPhone. What do I care if the iPhone can do all these different things if it runs out of battery. How useful is a phone if I cant text b/c the keyboard is crap. I just need a good phone. So I passed on the iPhone and I got the Sprint Instinct.

The Instinct isn’t the best phone out there but it does what i need it to do. Namely ring and answer. But also I was sold on the voice command and the turn by turn GPS navigation. These two features I cannot do without. I often find myself in the car wanting to call someone but can’t take my eyes off the road. Thus voice command. “Call Steve” And quess what it calls Steve. Or if i’m somewhere i’m not familiar. Search for “Starbucks”. And quess what it lists all the Starbucks in the area. Then gives me turn-by-turn voice GPS directions. Very cool. I have to admit sometimes I screw around and turn the opposite from what the phone tells me just to hear “Off route. Finding new route”.

Anyway, everytime I break my phone out and show off the cool features someone says i’ts like an iPhone. I which I proceed to bitch slap them. And then there is always someone around that pulls out their iPhone and woos the crowd with thier new $5 app that flips a fake coin until of course the battery fails. Who really needs an app to flip a coin. I’m not even sure I trust an electronic coin flip. iPhone users really need the “are you a hipster app” or a “hipster 4-square app” or my favorite “how do I get my $600 back when apple screwed my 6 months later with a lower price app”.

Other useless apps include the hold button(to see how long you can keep your finger in place), the ibeer (fake drink a fake beer), the tickle me app ( yeah you get it), and 1000’s other ridicuous money wasters.

Enter the Palm Pre. Remember Palm. The Co. that brought us the Palm Pilot in the late 90’s.  Well now they are back with a bang. The Palm Pre promises to be everything we need in a phone and more. thier main objective was to make a phone as user friendly as possible. To make you feel as though you weren’t really using a phone when of course you were.  And, get this it does everything an iPhone does and more. Why? b/c palm actually brought over the original iPhone team and told them to create a better phone.

Here is an early review by my boy David Pouge…

The palm still doesn’t have voice commad as far as I know so I’ll probably have to pass. But I’m just happy now that I can throw it in some apple loser’s face next time they try to show me their new $5 iPhone app. I’ll just say “what? you still have an iPhone? That’s so 2008” I’n my best valley girl voice just to piss them off.

3 Responses to “HA! HA! to all the iPhone hipsters meet my buddy Pre”

  1. amtodd said

    David Pogue’s review is awesome. In his years of reviewing smart phones, he has never given one such a good review.

  2. grammaticalchaos said

    not all iPhone owners are “hipsters.”

    they should have never gave us niggas money…

  3. […] know where we stand here at Too Old, we are NOT down with the IPhone. Ronin wrote about the Pre here, which I think that I am going to switch to, since my phone is giving me grief.  Ronin also talked […]

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