breathe, reflect, and give your heart a kiss

April 29, 2009

I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes.

I know what I like and don’t like. I know what makes me laugh or cry (been a while since I’ve done that, maybe just sad) or just plain happy. But what if I took the plain out of it. What makes me really happy. (That is besides gunning a GT3 through the Nurburgring.) This is where I’m stuck. I don’t know. But I know it has something to do with the heart.
The heart in all it’s importance and pressure escapes me. Sure I’ve felt it’s beauty before. Oh, I have. In all it’s power and glory I’m a witness. But I’ve also felt when it’s empty. But most of the time it’s just there waiting to be touched. This is where I find myself today.

We choose who we want to take a drink from our heart. But how do we choose???
Like most men, I’m cursed and blessed with a penis. What I mean is it’s a great general but a horrible scout. The penis rarely points in the right direction. It’s got radar for SHIT.  If it were a GPS it would always lead you to the city dump then proceed to empty your pockets and slap you in the face. “It ain’t ever been right.” But I keep looking to it for direction. Why are we as men so stupid???  And does it ever change.??? Do we ever take the hint and start making sound choices with our penis or are we just doomed to follow the path always taken? We have a problem or just a…

So this is where I’ve been. Leading with the magic stick and hoping the heart will follow.
I thought I had it all figured out. I was gonna separate the two. Unleash the penis and muzzle the heart. I would bask in the glory of the penis and ignore the heart. That is give the penis (with protection) but withhold my heart. This would surely solve everything. Right!? L.A. was the perfect place. The land of beautiful people and shallow hearts. And it was…

But something was wrong. I wasn’t full. Something was lacking. It must have been the city. So I left to tour the Bay Area. In the Bay, things must be different. It’s where I grew up and the Bay Area does pride itself on being about so much more. Right?.  Plus my family lives here.
Well, it wasn’t the location.  It was me.

It took a stranger with a big beautiful heart and a mutual understanding to make me realize what was smack dab in my face all the time…
We don’t have to LOOK. It’s already there. We have it inside of us. All of us. It’s called LOVE. And it’s not for HIRE nor for SALE. It’s ours and only ours. We can’t give it to anyone. And no one can take it from us.
It’s what we allow ourselves to feel. When we meet someone that gets our heart pounding we think an exchange of the heart must occur. We must give up ours in exchange for theirs. An arbitrage of the heart. But I say NO!!! Close the market. Hearts are at stake here. Instead just…

Breathe, reflect, and give your heart a big kiss. You did this not your mate. You are the magician of your heart. You work the magic. Others are too clumsy with things that don’t belong to them.  You allowed yourself to feel this way now take possession.
I’m not being heartless. On the contrary. I’m saying love yourself and never stop. Don’t look for approval or even mutual feelings. Just give it to yourself. Just give it to yourself, I say. That connection, that sensation, that  weightlessness, we all feel with our mate is so amazing that we think we must give up the very thing that allows us to feel so great. Well I say resist the urge. Your heart will thank you.

Some will think this is just a protectionist theory. That is, don’t let your heart get broken 101. But it’s not. It’s a right tool for the job theory. You can still give love and love someone. If fact,  I say give more.  As much as you want. The world needs more love not less. But understand that this act is something beautiful you gave yourself not someone else doing. The ultimate it’s ME not YOU. A selfish but positive act if you will that resulted in an emotion that made you feel good. Notice the “positive”. If negative acts make your heart pitter-pat than you are a monster and have no heart.
But if a beautiful sunset, a rainy morning, an innocent smile from a child, an intimate moment with your mate, or a song, really touches you…Then just breathe, reflect, and give your heart a kiss.

Like a beautiful piece of art….

(Francesco Clemente, Scissors and Butterflies)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty like love is not universal. It exists because you witnessed it and gave it life. It’s yours, so protect and enjoy where its power exists.

Inside of you.

Your heart.

2 Responses to “breathe, reflect, and give your heart a kiss”

  1. R2theD said

    Wise words…

  2. […] The baggage we bring to relationships does not need to be checked in. Especially with the airlines charging extra for more than two bags these days extra baggage can become really expensive. When it comes to relationships the same can be true. There should be a two bag rule when it comes to relationships. If you have more than two bags in any relationship you are just cheating yourself and your parntner. Say you drink a lot or you have trust issues. That’s it. You’re done. No more. Your partner can only take so much so capp it off at only two. Don’t try to sneak intamacy problems or daddy issues in the overhead compartment. There is no more room up there. And even if the flight attendant doesn’t catch ya you and your mate are screwed. It’s that simple. People can only take so much at the beginning of a relationship. Waiting for the right time to drop a few more bags of issues into your relationship only adds to the already delicate process of trying to get to know someone your heart gives a boarding pass. I know it’s not easy. And no you are not putting on a false front or pretending to be someone else. Instead you are just giving the relationship the respect it deserves. And why not put you best foot forward and give your partnert the benefit of doubt. Trust that they will respect you and your baggage and move forward not back. Love yourself and others will follow… breathe, reflect, and give your heart a kiss. […]

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