Michael Phelps and the BONG is not a story

February 5, 2009

I guess that Micheal Phelps is back in training for the Olympics.  He is working on increasing his lung capacity in his quest for nine gold medals.

I like this type of training!

I like this type of training!

Several things stand out to me with this story

1) This is not news.  Kids everywhere have smoked pot.  So what?

2) Someone had to sell this picture to the papers.  I Hope it was worth it (and it probably was…) You are a low life for doing it.  A celebrity graces your party and you take pictures of him enjoying what everyone else is doing at the party?  Then you decide that you are going to sell the picture to the highest bidder?

3) The cop who said that they were going to look into charges on Phelps… STFU!  Are you kidding?  At best, you get him on possession of paraphernalia, nothing else.  Congratulations.  That is a ticket, and one in which he will never appear in your courtroom.  Your moment of fame has already expired.  What statement did you really think that you were making?  Quit being a publicity whore and do you damn job and catch real criminals.

4) Michael Phelps.  While I am a firm believer in deny, deny, deny, your apology went over really well.  I think that because you addressed it immediately and showed contrition,  the sponsors and advertisers are going to forgive you.  The IOC cant do anything, since the alleged event happened outside of competition and you have not failed a drug test.  You just need to keep it more undercover and low key.  You have got to know who has your interest at heart.  Not all the people you hang around are looking out for you.  I bet you don’t even have a bag man…you know, the person who is responsible for handling your bag needs and making sure to procure it in all the locations that you are going to be at.  Because, with all the heat on, you can now never be caught with it, or in your possession.

5) That was a nice ROOR bong that Michael Phelps is using… they make good bongs…so I’ve heard…

The Washington Post comments on the non-story…

According to a study cited in U.S. News & World Report last summer, 42 percent of Americans have at one time or another gotten sweetly baked on hay. No one is condoning illegal activity — or admitting any. But frankly, it’s better than drinking and driving, which is what Phelps did last time. And it’s organic!

“I’m 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me,” Phelps said in a statement. “For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public — it will not happen again.”

Or, as David St. Hubbins says in “This Is Spinal Tap,” “I’m sure I would be more upset if I wasn’t so heavily sedated.”

We already knew that when Phelps breaks training, he means business. After he won six gold medals at the 2004 Athens Games, he was caught driving under the influence after a party in Maryland. When he’s in his competitive season, he swims for five hours a day, every day, 50 miles of laps in a week. When he’s on vacation — well. What did we think he was going to binge on this time, after winning an all-time-record eight gold medals in Beijing? Triscuits?

Now this is a story, because this dude is stupid

but Phelps is not a story…

One Response to “Michael Phelps and the BONG is not a story”

  1. Ronin Storm said

    I don’t know what the problem is. Dude just wanted to double down? I split winners all the time. He should have got insurance though dealer had an ace showing. JK

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