The Perfect Girlfriend…

December 2, 2008

I am searching for her. If you find her let me know. I think that I have come reasonably close to finding her. Here is what she looks like…

Now, she is not clearly the dime piece that I normally would say is perfect, like these women

Or these Swedish women…

The point is that there are a lot of them out there. What makes Sarah Carmen (the first woman pictured) so perfect?

The answer is that she is easy to please. I mean really easy. So easy, you really don’t need to do anything. I bet you are confused at this point. You might be thinking to yourself, “What is Steve thinking? Is she rich beyond belief and wouldn’t need the normal trappings like rings, or fancy cars?” No, she probably wants that stuff, because, who doesn’t? The answer is simpler than that.

What is the number one complaint of woman about men in the sack? That they (meaning most men) can’t bring them to orgasm. While we here at Too Old don’t hear that complaint ( because we know how to please and  we aren’t deaf to their desires, although that is probably  the case with Jason, who is only concerned with getting what he wants) Sarah doesn’t suffer from that want. You see, Sarah suffers from PSAS. The News of the World documents the condition.

Sarah, 24, suffers from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which increases blood flow to the sex organs.

She said: “Sometimes I have so much sex to try to calm myself down I get bored of it. And men I sleep with don’t seem to make as much effort because I climax so easily.”

As she chatted, Sarah became increasingly flustered.

“Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me for a minute. I’ll be with you in a sec,” she mumbled before letting out a long sigh.

Sarah, from London, developed PSAS after being prescribed anti-depressants at 19.

She believes her condition was brought on by the pills.

She said: “Within a few weeks I just began to get more and more aroused more and more of the time and I just kept having endless orgasms.

“It started off in bed where sex sessions would last for hours and my boyfriend would be stunned at how many times I would orgasm.

“Then it would happen after sex. I’d be thinking about what we’d done in bed and I’d start feeling a bit flushed, then I’d become aroused and climax.

“In six months I was having 150 orgasms a day—and it has been as many as 200.”

She and her boyfriend split— and new partners struggle to keep up with her sex demands. “Often, I’ll want to wear myself out by having as many orgasms as I can so they stop and I can get some peace,” she said.

Sarah is a beautician and working in salons filled with whirring hairdryers and skincare gadgets can cause problems.

NEWSFLASH! Women everywhere are rushing to get a hold of these magical pills. I think that we could make a literal fortune off these pills.

So, let me get this straight. She is really easy to make orgasm and wants to have sex as much as possible? Where do I sign up?

2 Responses to “The Perfect Girlfriend…”

  1. Ronin Storm said

    Sounds perfect.
    But…what if every time she bumped into someone or shook hands she climaxed.
    Would be kinda wierd.
    “Hello, this is my girl Sarah” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAh…..Oh yea Baby!!!AAAAAAAh”
    Sorry, I’ll pass.

  2. ctid1369 said

    You would post something of this nature. haha I’m gunna have to agree with Ronin I will pass on that. Not something I would be into. It would just get out of hand.

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