FHM and the top 100 most beautiful/Sexiest women in the World

April 24, 2008

100.Britney Spears 80.Audrina Patridge 60.Fergie 40.Cheryl Burke 20.Beyonce Knowles
99.Victoria Beckham 79.Christine Lakin 59.Eva Longoria 39.Christina Aguilera 19.Ali Larter
98.The Olly Girls 78.Karina Smirnoff 58.Cassie Ventura 38.Katherine McPhee 18.Cameron Diaz
97.Amber Heard 77.Paris Hilton 57.Jennifer Love-Hewitt 37.Evangeline Lilly 17.Kim Kardashian
96.Carmit Bachar 76.Rachelle Leah 56.Tara Reid 36.Adriana Lima 16.Lindsay Lohan
95.Lauren Conrad 75.Pam Anderson 55.Shakira 35.Jessica Simpson 15.Erica Durance
94.Olga Kurylenko 74.Kelly Hu 54.Kate Hudson 34.Carmen Electra 14.Rihanna
93.Whitney Able 73.Carrie Underwood 53.Marisa Miller 33.Halle Berry 13.Eva Mendes
92.Maggie Gyllenhaal 72.Elizabeth Banks 52.Jenny McCarthy 32.Kate Bosworth 12.Angelina Jolie
91.Ashley Collette 71.Amanda Beard 51.Anne Hathaway 31.Gisele Bündchen 11.Hayden Panettiere
90.Summer Glau 70.Mischa Barton 50.Keeley Hazell 30.Rachel Bilson 10.Kate Beckinsale
89.Rachel McAdams 69.Christina Ricci 49.Katherine Heigl 29.Maria Sharapova 9.Blake Lively
88.Shamron Moore 68.Kari Byron 48.Mayra Veronica 28.Keira Knightly 8.Tricia Helfer
87.Madonna 67.Liv Tyler 47.Alessandra Ambrosio 27.Selita Ebanks 7.Hilary Duff
86.Reese Witherspoon 66.Leeann Tweeden 46.Shannon Elizabeth 26.Vanessa Hudgens 6.Emmanuelle Chriqui
85.Olivia Munn 65.Katie Holmes 45.Anna Faris 25.Natalie Portman 5.Scarlett Johansson
84.Maria Kanellis 64.Stacy Keibler 44.Heidi Montag 24.Kristen Bell 4.Elisha Cuthbert
83.Jenna Fischer 63.Grace Park 43.Charlize Theron 23.Sienna Miller 3.Jessica Alba
82.Alyssa Milano 62.Nicole Scherzinger 42.Jennifer Aniston 22.Heidi Klum 2.Jessica Biel
81.Mila Kunis 61.Ellen Page 41.Kristin Kreuk 21.Kaley Cuoco 1.Megan Fox

I want to look at the top ten. The list was created with 9 million voters. Like most things, the voters only screw things up, like the all-star voting. You might for what you like and root for, but that isn’t necessarily the right answer to question at hand. Some of the top ten have no business being there, and we will break it down and look critically at the list.

Coming in at number ten was Kate Beckinsale.

Her first major American film, Brokedown Palace (1999), was not a commercial success. Soon after, Beckinsale was cast in the 2001 film Pearl Harbor as the female lead, after actress Charlize Theron turned down the part. The film was one of the highest grossing films of its year. In the years following, she appeared in a series of American films that were high-profile, but were given a somewhat poor critical reception, including Serendipity (2001), Underworld (2003) and Van Helsing (2004). In 2005, she portrayed Ava Gardner in Martin Scorsese‘s The Aviator, a role for which she gained 20 pounds. In January 2006, Beckinsale reprised her role as a vampire in the movie Underworld: Evolution, a sequel to her 2003 film, Underworld, again directed by her husband, Len Wiseman. The film opened at the #1 spot at the box office, grossing over $26 million in its first weekend of release.[5] On January 24, 2006, Beckinsale was featured on the MTV series, Punk’d. The set-up for the segment took place at the Avalon Hotel in Los Angeles. Also in 2006, Beckinsale appeared in the comedy Click, starring Adam Sandler, which opened on June 23. Next, Beckinsale replaced Sarah Jessica Parker[6] in the film Vacancy, released in 2007. Her next role will be in Snow Angels, which is in post-production and scheduled for release some time in 2008. I have to admit, the only role that I saw her in was in Click and she was imminently forgettable in the role. In the pictures that I researched, she looks hot, but, there are always hotter women and see is 35. I would think that unless you are Halle (who was rated way too low, maybe due to her pregnancy) the older ladies wouldn’t be in the top ten list. Sex obviously is something biologicatl that is very difficult to explain. You like who you like and the people have spoken about her. I think that he is cute, and yes, I would call her sexy, but to have her on my top ten list would be a stretch.

9. Blake Lively

I have to make a confession…until I googled her up, I had no idea who she was. Even after the googling, and the ogling, I would say that she is not in the top ten. Again, she meets the basic test for hotness, just not top ten, especially since she is lacking in the floatation devices area.

8.Tricia Helfer

Again, would not have been able to pick her out of a lineup. I think that the lower picture of her is cute, and maybe on the basis of that she could sneak on the list, but doubtful…

7.Hilary Duff

She has no business being on this list. These are the best pictures of her that I could find and they are awl-rite, but nothing that I would want to fight the next man for. If a buddy came to me and said that he was hitting that (absent her loot of course) I would be impressed, but I wouldn’t be crowning him player mack of the year (cue Rappin 4tay please…) Some people must like it young, since she is not of the correct age for me and others at Too Old…

6.Emmanuelle Chriqui

E was a lucky man on Entourage to have her as a girlfriend. She suggested that they have a threesome with her hot girlfriend as well as having a father who was high up in the industry. On that basis alone, she deserves mention on this list. That and her breasts are spectacular!

5.Scarlett Johansson

Getting a little tired. I like the glam look, like a 50’s pinup girl, but the package isn’t anything that I wouldn’t be able to see at the strip club and it’s been enhanced. The body on her is still looking good, and the brakes haven’t been beaten off her… (well, I take that back… here is a list about her private life from Wikipedia) Johansson does not discuss her personal life with the press, saying “it’s nice to have everybody not know your business.” This has not stopped Johansson from sharing “select” opinions and personal details.[32] Johansson’s ex-boyfriend (and member of the band Steel Train), Jack Antonoff, wrote lyrics that refer to Johansson in the song “Better Love.”[33] Antonoff alludes to Johansson in the song “2 O’clock.” She has been linked to many famous men, including Derek Jeter, Benicio del Toro, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake and her Black Dahlia co-star Josh Hartnett. They dated for about two years until the end of 2006, with Hartnett citing their busy lives as the reason for the split.[34] She is currently dating Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds,[35] but has denied arising rumors of their engagement.[36] Johansson says she does not believe in monogamy, and has said that it is not human nature to be with just one person. She also said “contrary to popular belief… [she is] not promiscuous” and she works “really hard” when she is in a relationship “to make it work in a monogamous way.”[37] She gets tested for HIV twice a year, and has said “it’s part of being a decent human” and it is “disgusting” and “irresponsible” when people do not do so.[38] She gets bonus points for being willing to spread the wealth and the fact that the box isn’t tainted is positive as well. I also think that in some cases, monogamy is over-rated. But, she could easily be bumped and I wouldn’t argue. In the beach picture, she really does look pretty pale…

4.Elisha Cuthbert

This is Jack Bauer’s daughter in the TV show 24. I would fight Jack for the right to break off his daughter, even knowing how he gets down. I think that she deserves to be on the list, I really have no argument against her inclusion on a list like this. The body is on point, the grill is not busted and the accessories are natural looking and jumping off the page.

3.Jessica Alba

Yes…Yes…YES! Super worthy of being on the list…and it tight with B-Diddy

2.Jessica Biel

Yeah, I know that people love her up, but I would rather have the other Jessica first before this one. I am not sure of the attraction here. On the cover of FHM, she seems like she is tripping, has been asked a question she doesn’t know the answer to, or has a small case of downs syndrome, similar to Rihanna… Would not be in my top ten.

1.Megan Fox

Clearly, I think the polls are dominated by high school kids, because they loved her in Transformers. She was looking good in that and looks decent in the pictures that I have posted above, but the MTV one, she is sticking out her butt to make it look bigger. That is a clear sign that she knows she is not working with enough in the backyard. The FHM pictures of her in bed do make a dude want to immediately jump in and test the curves at high speed, but you should have to knock out the champ to beat the champ.

How are they not in the top ten?

Eva Longoria

Halle Berry

Aby Titmuss

Eva Mendes

This random chick that I found on google, Ewa Sonnet

I think that the message we are promoting at Too Old for Maxim is that women come in all flavors and not to give too much credit to any list. We hate those who just criticize and do nothing got resolve the issue. So in that vein, we will roll out our own “Too Old for Maxim, Too Young for Esquire” top ten list…

3 Responses to “FHM and the top 100 most beautiful/Sexiest women in the World”

  1. Erik said

    Okay Steve, I agree with most of your claims about this list (especially that Hilary Duff nonsense) but I will say that #8, Tricia Helfer, is super fly. You know her as Cylon #6 from the new Battlestar Gallactica…

    And Ewa Sonnet…holy shit.

  2. Ronin Storm said

    WELL DONE. I can’t agree more. It was like I was writing it myself. Except I do think Jessica Biel should be top ten. Or top five. But now that you painted the down syndrome picture for me she may be out for good. That sucks. Thanx. No bother, just means Eva Mendez moves up.
    What happened to Gabby Union, Kerry Washington, Joy Bryant,and Thandie Newton.
    And what the heck are Madonna, and Fergie even doing on the list. Thats just stupid!

  3. […] or some local girl you know?  I can list probably a hundred famous women (here’s a list of some, even if i disagree with several they have on it) I would put before her (although […]

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