America, Tiger Woods is like your friend who is a stiff, but is still your friend. Please forgive him like your would your buddy

Hands and knees is a start....Kobe style might be a huge ring.

This weekend was a long weekend for me.  Obligations kept me busy the whole weekend, from a basketball game, to a debate tournament.  The crew was at the tournament and as he does, Ronin was chatting up the ladies.  Our buddy, Wes, who is a mess, salted Ronin’s game.  When I sat down and broke it to Wes about what he did, I began to realize it wasn’t his fault.  Wes was just a horrible wingman, thus counting on him for wingman game would not be wise.

Wes, learn the creed, follow the creed

I can’t be mad at someone for not doing something that I should know that they are bad at.  If you know you have a shoot first point guard, why get upset if he isn’t passing as much as you would like?

This is what America fails to realize about Tiger Woods.  We can’t be mad AT Tiger, because Tiger is a stiff.  You can condemn his actions, but it’s bigger than him.  To fully understand, what is going on, a definition is in order.

stiff (plural stiffs)

1. An average person, usually male, of no particular distinction, skill, or education, often a working stiff or lucky stiff.

   A Working Stiff’s Manifesto: A Memoir of Thirty Jobs I Quit, Nine That Fired Me, and Three I Can’t Remember was published in 2003.

2. A person who is deceived, as a mark or pigeon in a swindle.

   She convinced the stiff to go to her hotel room, where her henchman was waiting to rob him.

3. (slang) A cadaver, a dead person.
4. (US) A person who leaves (especially a restaurant) without paying the bill.

In understanding women, Tiger meets definition one and two.  When Tiger was working on his game growing up, he never got a chance to work out the kinks in his mating/macking/sexual game.  The reason why is is great at golf is that he had to ignore other urges and needs.  His sexual game is simple, rote. This is not to say that Tiger never got laid, but never got to enjoy the rockstar experience.  It is not his fault that he has been handled most of his life.  His handlers did a great job (that would include his parents, who by definition are handlers, but this refers to outside that family tree handling) almost too great in crafting the image.  People love to tear other people down, but one thing that is great about the human spirit is that we allow people to make mistakes.  Marion Barry did this and STILL got re-elected to public office.

Yes, this is the Mayor of Washington D.C. smoking crack...

He didn’t have this movie to guide him (How to Be a Player) The mistakes that he made in the whole scenario was very reminiscent of High School game. The silly voice mails are the first clue about his underdeveloped game.

Dre, if he only had you as a wingman, all would be good

The fact that he was texted is just a modern day note writing that any guy would not get caught up in, since that is the smoking gun.  (Guys and gals, remember, that text messages do not disappear in the great beyond.  They are easily accessible.  At least if you are cheating, cover your tracks.  Get rid of text messages and don’t send anything in them, since they can be read and saved by the other side. One rookie manuever is that people forget to clear the sent emails in their side, they only remember to get rid of the ones that they receive.)

But, there is a ray of light during this moment of darkness.  There is a manual for  getting through this and continuing to make the money.  Going on Oprah to win back the women.  A lot of guys were never mad at you in the first place.  they may have questioned you cheating on your smoking hot wife, but they were not mad, in the classic sense.  In fact, some men immediately put themselves in your situation and re-created your mistakes, in order to play out the scenario and figure out how not to make the mistakes you made.

She is that powerful...do not cross her...

But, going on Oprah is the key to winning back women who hate you right now.  The Mayo Clinic defines forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

The demographics of the Oprah show are the groups you need to win back. You need to find a way that they can forgive you, without minimizing the act.  We all make terrible life decisions. The black women vote is key.  Right now, you are polling low with them because of the affair (some of them are not mad at you for this.  They are the ones making excuses for you like, Elin wasn’t taking care of business at home and Tiger, I would make it work for you)  Memo to Tiger…be careful.  These are the types of women that you are sleeping with now. Back to the point at hand, the women you are polling poorly with.  One thing to remember is that Black women can be really racist, with the emphasis on really racist. There are women who are not mad that you had an affair, but are mad only because it was with a white women.  Oprah can help with that, because Oprah is a healer.  This is the time to say, “Whoops, I got caught up!” You will need to show your emotional side on the show, and you might even need to cry a little bit, to show contrition.  But, don’t worry, because most guys will never hear about it, much less see it.  So, don’t be self conscious.  At worst, we will say, “Wait til you get to the car to cry…”

(Don’t let Deebo see you slipping….you won’t have to go to the car to cry)

Oprah as the Great Emancipator can bring together white women as well.  They read Oprah, and value her input and opinion.  It’s the reason stars agree to do her show after bad press, like Tom Cruise.

Do not jump up and down professing your love for your wife. If you overdo it, people will not believe you. But, look at Oprah selling it and showing all the teeth and gums, pretending to be amused. This is the press you need.

Tiger, you can do it.  Let Oprah help…Harpo, reach out to a man who needs a helping hand…

Hoes on the loose from the Tiger Woods Zoo

with thanks to Bill Simmons for help with the title.

See, more attention seeking hoes popping up...but she kept her mouth shut, so that is something positive in her favor.

See, Tiger, hoes are going to try to capitalize on your fame. Radio show personality Meredith Walusek is the one  holding a sign reading, ‘Tiger- They offered me $500,000- I’m keeping my mouth shut!”, in front of a gate to the Isleworth community where Tiger Woods has a home on December 2, 2009 in Windermere, Florida.

All she wants is ratings. (Unless you really chopped her down, then she is a down @$$ chickenhead)  She is willing to use your problems to raise her stature up.  But that isn’t shocking to me.  Here are some of the latest to step up and claim that you chopped the backs down.

Another silicone injected porn star. Tiger living the life.....

Now Tiger even has a woman claiming that he “used” her hoe services when she was operating. (Wouldn’t it be delicious irony if she got popped for pimping and pandering, since she is copping to the crime?)  The Vancouver Sun gives a small list of the attention seeking women

The list of women Woods is alleged to have slept with includes personal concierge Rachel Uchitel, reality TV wannabe Jaimee Grubbs, VIP hostess Kalika Moquin, minimum wage waitress Mindy Lawton, New York party girl Cori Rist, Vegas lingerie model Jamie Jungers, porn star Holly Sampson, and three-way porn specialist Joslyn James.

They continue…

Also on Thursday, Hollywood madam Michelle Braun has claimed in the New York Daily News that Woods was a regular client, spending more than $60,000 on dalliances with Junger, Sampson and Playboy model Loredana Jolie. If Braun is to be believed, Woods liked to play the back nine in parties of three.

At least this is the type that you whould be banging out. But, for a man of your stature to pay for it...and then have the trust broken is a disgrace.

Like the old saying goes, ” You don’t pay a prostitute for sex….you pay her to leave when you are done.”  But you also pay for the discretion of the action and your business.  The prostitute/John relationship is tantamount to priest/parishioner relationship…you should not spill the beans about anything.

That is what this world is coming to...

What must she be unwilling to do to satisfy his sexual appetite?

Did she stop putting out after the kids?

Whatever it was, this is another fine mess  you got us into.  It is going to take some time, but you are doing right by NOT SAYING ANYTHING!

Tiger Woods Porn Video…you knew it was only a matter of time….

I predicted this here as soon as the porn start came out.  It had to happen. Now, EOnline and others are talking about it…

And now it’s time for the porn.

Following the tabloid coverage, the late-night jokes, the animated re-creations and even a commentary or two on National Public Radio, the Tiger Woods scandal has officially reached the phase in which someone turns the story into an excuse for people to engage in sex on camera.

Porn actors, that is—not Tiger or any of the various alleged lady friends. This is fiction.

E! News has obtained a copy of the script for Tiger’s Wood, which bills itself as the “official porn parody” of the non-golf exploits of the sports icon. The script riffs on the story and (presumably) makes up stuff where it might make things spicier.

How does it all turn out? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil it for you, but we’re pretty sure you can guess how this Tiger tale ends.

—Reporting by Marcus Mulic

But now the Huffington Post is reporting that the casting has been set.

Looks wholesome enough to play the wife

Porn star Kayden Kross tweeted that she has been cast as Tiger’s wife “porn-Elin,” and that Tyler Knight will play Tiger.

Meanwhile Tyler blogged, “I’m Tiger Woods, bitches.”

Tyler, I gotta give you daps for that.  Too funny….

Meanwhile Vivid, which is not producing “Tiger’s Wood,” is offering big bucks to any former Woods’ mistress who will star in a porn.

The company has also offered up to $1 million “to any paramour of Tiger Woods” who would star in a Vivid film.

Chickenheads, come out and grab your money.  You already sold him out for a few coins, why not grab the big prize?  The answer can’t be that you are too embarrassed to do porn.  Jamiee Grubbs, you are not, as we have pictures of you doing it already.  You should be the first to grab the loot, but some of you should not be far behind.  This is like a life preserver thrown out to you.  You have been played by the media.  They used you for ratings and now will throw you to the side.  You are famous, but really you are infamous.  Use this opportunity to get paid one more time.  The money will run out for the ones that settled for 100k.  You will buy a couple of things, and go on a trip or two and your money is gone.

“Our offer is to actual proven paramours of Tiger Woods who agree to star in a Vivid film and provide details and an explicit look of what Tiger experienced still holds,” Hirsch continued. “It seems the chance we’ll be taken up gets better as the days go on.”

That is going to be a little difficult to prove, but unfortunately, this will only encourage chickenheads to keep jim hats to preserve the semen.  Think that isn’t possible?  Remember this person?

Who keeps a semen stained dress and doesn't get it washed? A stanky hoe, thats who!. BTW, this portait is the best that I have seen her look.

The GAP blue dress was the straw that almost brought down the Clinton era.

Jamie Jungers goes on National TV to apologize and prove to people that she is a two bit prostitute with a heart of gold….

Jamie, this is your dream, but you are a lingerie model... you are a dime a dozen. Tiger used you and you are famous for all the wrong reasons. Enjoy your fame while it lasts. Plus, the pennies on the dollar you got from the magazines are not going to last...

except this isn’t Pretty Woman and she is not Julia Roberts (because she does not have a horse face and is not rich)

In a few years, you will be back to modelling at car shows...but at least you apologized...

Some of the jumpoffs are talking, trying to extend their moment in the sun.  The thing that I don’t understand is that don’t they know all they are really doing is coming off looking like tramps and skanks?  YOU SLEPT WITH A MARRIED MAN!  Yes, Tiger has a lot of fault in this.  Just like some movie I was forced to see, the main character says, “Love should have brought your @$$ home last night.

But, it takes two to tango.  The jumpoffs knew he was married, so don’t be shocked…The Herald Sun brings to light the claims of another one of his alleged conquests, Jamie Jungers.

LINGERIE model Jamie Jungers yesterday said of ex-lover Tiger: “He deserves everything he gets.”

Eighteen months into their wild fling, she claimed she ended it racked with guilt about his wife.

Blonde Jungers, 26, said: “People are getting to see he’s not the great family-oriented guy everyone thought he was.”

This might seems naive of me, but if you were so wracked with guilt over that you were a willing participant with a married man for him to have an affair, why didn’t you make this apology when you “ended” the affair? Why are we finding out about this “affair” now? It seems as though you are in asset acquisition mode. Signs of Blue Star Airlines all over again…

Tiger did what?!?! Sell, SELL, SELL! Wait, with who? She is a shank....hold for now

She claims he flew her all over America to satisfy his three-times-a-night lust during tournaments.

She said the golf ace wanted sex on demand and loved dirty phone chats with her.

She said: “The sex was amazing, just crazy. It got better the more we saw each other. He was amazing in bed.”

They romped in a hotel room hours after meeting, just eight months after his 2005 wedding.

She claims that afterwards, she asked him: “You just got married. Is it going OK?

“He said, ‘Yes, it’s fine, she (Elin) is in Sweden with her family’.”

So, here is where she admits to knowing that he is married and she has weighed the consequences of her actions.  She didn’t care then and just wanted to know what Tiger thought.  He was thinking with the Little General, so he was all good with her being a party to his affair.

She alleged that days ago she was offered cash by Woods’ team to stop her selling her story,

Another of Tiger’s mistresses, porn starlet Holly Sampson, 26, said: “He’s like the whitest black boy you’ve ever met in your life. His teeth are perfect and he’s a perfect gentleman. He likes blondes.”

We all wish we had teachers like this...

Why does this make him white? Black people can’t have good teeth and manners?  And who doesn’t like blondes?  But, Holly, you are not a blonde.  I don’t know if the curtains match the drapes, but the roots above seems to tell a different story.  This proves that you are doing the only thing that you are good at, which is being used as a sex rag doll.  Hopefully people will buy your porn tapes.  I won’t because I will continue to download clips or bootlegs. But, you are a racist, so I would do dirty things to you and laugh…

It was alleged yesterday that days before 33-year-old Woods publicly confessed to adultery, his agents also offered to pay off the woman who lifted the lid on his lurid double life.

Ashley Samson yesterday told the National Enquirer, which broke the story with her claims two weeks ago: “His people offered me $200,000 to change my story. I said I would not lie for Tiger because the truth is the truth.”

British media yesterday named TV presenter and former pin-up Kirsty Gallacher, a household name there, as a friend of Tiger’s.

I need more friends like this...

She is now married and pregnant. But in an interview several years ago when she was single, she described him as “wonderful, kind and talented – not to mention incredibly handsome”.

She added: “Whenever he’s over here, he gives me a call.”

You can see why he called.  I would too….Tiger now has a ton of haters, but they are not going to be able to stop him…

Carrie Prejean is a total hypocrite: Sex tape and photos at the heart of Lawsuit settlement

You mean Chicken of the Sea is actually Tuna? Really?

 

Now, we are not ones for pageants here at Too Old, but this controversy was too sweet to pass up.

Now, you apologized for the one sex tape that was leaked.  Now, there are news of others.  The Daily News reports…

It looks like Carrie Prejean spoke too soon when she called her recent sex tape the “biggest mistake” of her life.

Either the seven other sex tapes that have just surfaced aren’t actually salacious, or else the former Miss California has a little more to atone for.

That is a tape I wouldn't mind downloading...but not paying for

RadarOnline.com has just learned that the dethroned beauty queen has no less than eight sex tapes and 30 naked photos to her name. As in her previous sex tape, she performs solo on each video.

Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.  I am not judging.  I am just glad to see that you are prodigious in the amount of porn that you are willing to star in.  After your book flops, I bet Vivid, or Larry Flynt will pay you big bucks to become a movie star lingerie model video vixen/porn star.

And you do things to yourself? High Five!

Some of the new sexy photographs that have been unearthed Prejean allegedly took herself, of own reflection in a mirror, alternately topless and completely naked.

Which gets me thinking about a joke….

Todays Specials:
Draft Beer $2.50
Cheese Sandwich $3.50
Handjob $10.00

Ali was very excited. He quickly counted all of the money in his wallet and made sure he had enough. He then walked up to the bartender. She was really hot and looked like she was the only one working at the bar that day. Ali asked “Hey Yaar, Are you being the one who is giving the $10 handjobs?”. She smiled seductively and said “Yes, I’m the one who takes care of EVERYTHING“. Ali quickly pulled out his money and said “Baby, wash your hands… because I want a cheese sandwich!”

I don’t know why, but that one just stuck with me.  Carrie might be doing that in a few years and I am going to that show with a twenty and she can keep the change…

Prejean created a national controversy earlier this year when she spoke out against gay marriage during the Miss USA pageant. Her stance put her at odds with the pageant committee, which she later sued for libel, claiming she had been discriminated against for her religious views.

Prejean settled out of court on November 3 after her first sex tape surfaced. On Wednesday she threatened to walk off Larry King Live when the host questioned her about the deal.

Perhaps she can chalk up the moment as another error to add to her growing list.

 

 

Having sex with a horse (a.k.a. buggery) got Rodell Vereen three years in the slammer. Did I mention that he was already on probation for having sex with the same horse?

I guess its all about perspective....

I don’t know what goes through the minds of some individuals, but this one had us dazed and confused at Too Old when this one came across the wire.  We first read that Rodell Vereen had a problem with the horses.  On first glance you might think that he has a gambling problem, but he has a different type of addiction.  Its with chopping down horse backs. No, he is not killing them and cutting them up, he is sexing them up.  Yes, a modern day bestiality freak. And we have the video!

You are sick.  we don’t have the video and would not want to watch a dude chop down a horse.

A Longs man was sentenced to three years in prison Wednesday after he admitted to a Circuit Court judge he had sexual intercourse with a Conway woman’s horse.

Rodell Vereen, 50, pleaded guilty to buggery and trespassing after he was charged in July when the woman found him in her barn at Lazy B Stables in the Wampee community of Horry County, police said. The woman pointed a shotgun at him until police arrived.

Circuit Court Judge Larry Hyman also sentenced Vereen to three years in prison for violating his probation relating to another buggery charge from a 2007 incident involving the same horse at the same stable.

Rodell Vereen (right) is motionless as Ed Chrisco tries to explain Vereen’s repeated buggery charges at the Horry County Courthouse on Wednesday.  What do you think that he could of said in that proceeding?  Your honor, I am sorry that my client is totally out of his mind.  He likes big butts and he cannot lie… (cue Sir Mix A Lot)

A South Carolina man caught on video having sex with a horse was sentenced Wednesday to three years in prison after pleading guilty for the second time in two years to abusing the creature.

Rodell Vereen was also ordered never to go near the stable where the horse’s owner caught him and held him for authorities at shotgun point over the summer. He apologized to the woman and to himself after admitting to buggery at the Horry County courthouse.

“I’m sorry about what I’ve done. I didn’t mean to do it. It’s my fault. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to myself,” Vereen said during Wednesday’s court hearing.

The sentences will run concurrently.

“I’m sorry about what I’ve done,” Vereen said. “I didn’t mean to do it. It’s my fault. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to myself.”

Hyman sentenced Vereen to five years in prison on the latest buggery charge, but suspended it to three years in prison and two years of probation. Vereen also was ordered to undergo mental health treatment once he is released from jail and was told not to go near Lazy B Stables.

In July 2008, Vereen, who owns a landscaping business, pleaded guilty to the same charge after he was caught Thanksgiving Day of 2007 having sex with the same horse.

“I’ve been through hell for the last year, and it’s caused a lot of hardship,” said Barbara Kenley, who owns the horse. “There’s a lot of ridicule and jokes going around about this thing. And a person can only take so much.”

The woman told police she caught Vereen having sex with a 21-year-old female horse named Sugar. She told officers she had video of Vereen “having relations” with one of her horses on July 19, according to a police report.

Before the plea, Hyman found Vereen was competent to take part in a plea.

But Vereen’s attorney, Ed Chrisco, said he had concerns about Vereen receiving the mental help he needs in prison.

“He openly talks about abnormal sexual impulses,” Chrisco said during the hearing. “A person who thinks having sex with dogs, chickens, cows and horses and talks about it in routine terms, there’s something disturbed in the mind.”

Vereen also had prior convictions of burglary from 1991 and 1995. Vereen has been registered as a sex offender since pleading to the buggery charge last year, according to the State Law Enforcement Division.

Rodell had his life somewhat together.  He owned a landscaping business.  Now, he will be in the mental ward in prison if he is lucky.  I think that people will leave him alone, just because of the nature of the crime.

Tufts University BANS SEX in your dorm room while your roommate is there…

Quit being so selective and I am sure you will find someone who will help butter your biscuits....Maybe it's the sour look on your face that prevents someone coming up to you and wanting to make out with you....

Really?  They have to make a rule about it?  What if I am just going to hit it softly and not bother anyone?

This reminds me of a local rap group that helped Tupac get some shine early in his career, Digital Underground and their song, “Freaks of the Industry”

The main part of the song that reminds me of college is this one. It is also the reason that I never lived in the dorms.  Ever.  Period.  Gotta become my own man.

Say you’re G’in’ [G'in'?]
Nobody else is seein’
And the freak that you’re wit’ is in front of you,
Bendin’ over naked, and she’s leanin’ on the dresser [Ooh yeah]
You’re lookin’ at her from the rear [Yeah]
She looks just like Vanessa [The right stuff]

Wow, and she really got better with age if that is possible.

Uh uh, not Vanessa with the singer career,

Teachers GONE WILD! Conclusion: Linda R. Nef gets 3 years in prison

Debra LaFave was/is the most attractive teacher I have ever seen make such a terrible decision in my life....

EPILOGUE to this story…

I will be the first to admit that when I went to school, I had a crush on a teacher.  I think that I was in the tenth grade and she might have been about 23 or 24.   I wasn’t brazen or bold enough to act on those feelings.  Soon, after having relations again with someone my own age, those feelings (which I would never act on) went away.

This might be the time to bring up the STOP SNITCHING campaign...

(You should go to here for more of the their list, or to badbadteacher.com for more teachers behaving poorly…)

When I graduated college, I started working at debate camps.  At debate camps, instructors are placed on a pedestal.  You have a bunch of students who are trying to get themselves better.  You have achieved things that the students want to reach.  In the advertising, they list all your major accomplishments, making you look like a champ. They look at you as an idol and this gives you some control and power.

It’s easy to abuse power in this situation.  The members of the crew here at Too Old have avoided the temptation to abuse power, but we know people who have.  In fact, there is someone attached to the highest office in the land, that I worked with, who was notorious (like biggie) for chasing the young box.

Why cry now? Think about this feeling BEFORE YOU ACT! Linda Richins Nef is lead away in handcuffs after receiving a 3-year to life sentence for attempted aggravated sexual abuse of a child, at Davis Justice Center in Farmington Tuesday, July 21, 2009. (Erin Hooley/Standard-Examiner)

I wonder who she is looking at in the picture.  The hands behind the back is indicative of the fact that she is cuffed up, and not in the good way. My first thought was she was thinking, “I am about to get my ass raped by a gang of bull dykes…”  She is going to prison.  The Salt Lake City Tribune explains

Before being sentenced to prison for three years to life, a sobbing Bountiful Junior High teacher apologized to the former student she sexually abused last year.

“I am so sorry for the pain you have been through … as a result of my completely selfish actions,” 46-year-old Linda Nef told the boy, who was 13 years old at the time.

Nef also apologized to “educators everywhere whose reputations have been damaged by my actions and former students who have lost faith in teachers because of me.”

So, does this mean I get to sue you for the damages that you have caused?  I mean, you are admitting to creating a hostile work environment, and trust is a tangible loss…Shw won’t make much in the pen, but they make about 35 or so cents an hour….

Second District Judge Rodney Page agreed Nef had broken the trust of her students.

“I know the esteem and worship and adulation children have for a good teacher,” Page said. “I don’t doubt that you were a good teacher, but in our society we esteem our teachers to be among the most honorable professionals and we entrust them with our most important commodity, our children.”

Page added that many in the community believe blame rests with the victim and that he had aggressively pursued Nef in the relationship. “I do not share that opinion,” Page said, “and I would say neither does Ms. Nef.”

And although she came forward and told police what she had done, the judge wondered if she acted in the belief that the relationship was about to be exposed anyway.

The judge was having none of her crocodile tears.  He saw right around that gameplan and blitzed her hopes…Look at the public blaming the child.  I mean children want what they want, but it is your job to deny them things that are bad for them, like 46 year old box….

Page said the fact that Nef came forward to confess her crime doesn’t undo damage done to her young victim.

He said the woman had a responsibility to stop the relationship before it started, adding that many students develop “puppy love” for their educators.

“Which one of us hasn’t had a teacher that we didn’t think was one of the most beautiful people in the world?” he asked.

Page said probation didn’t fit Nef’s crime, but added he hasn’t “slept very well” in weighing what to do with her case. He noted that his wife and two daughters are teachers.

Supporters of Nef filled nearly three rows in the courtroom. Many cried as she was handcuffed and taken into custody.

A case against another Bountiful Junior High teacher charged for having sex with the same boy is still unresolved. Valynne Bowers, a 40-year-old math teacher, is scheduled for a preliminary hearing on Aug. 28 before Judge Michael Allphin.

Bowers is charged with rape and forcible sodomy, first-degree felonies punishable by maximum prison terms of 15 years to life.

Bowers was charged with less serious counts because the boy was 14 during their relationship, which lasted from Jan. 2 until Feb. 27, according to charging documents.

Nef, who reported both herself and Bowers to police, had a sexual relationship with the student from Jan. 1, 2008, through Feb. 14, 2008.

Now, that is cold blooded.  First, the judge admits what I state in the beginning….a lot of people develop crushes on their teachers.  The vast majority of us don’t act on it.

Then, YOU turned yourself and the other teacher in when you found out that he was giving some other teacher the bizness.  Your good deed of stopping your relationship and the other is not taken into account, even though the case gave the judge some sleepness nights.

Finally, you are going to get more time than the other teacher for the same crime, just because of a couple of months.  The difference between 13 and 14 is not that significant, but it will be in your sentance.

Woman NOT to DATE#2 Woman arrested for stabbing boyfriend after he watched porn and had “Happy Ending”

If you were the parent, what could you really say?

Really?It wasn’t even someone else who gave him the “happy ending”, it was self-service. But she thought that she would get stabby anyway.  WKBT.com reports the story

A La Crosse woman faces charges for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend after she caught him watching pornography at her home.

According to police reports, 23-year-old Rachel Ferrara came home from work Tuesday afternoon and found her boyfriend masturbating and watching porn in her living room.

Ferrara punched the man in the stomach and kicked him in the groin. Ferrara then went to the kitchen, grabbed a five-inch knife from a drawer, slashed both of his arms and stabbed the man in the stomach.

The man drove himself to Gundersen Lutheran in La Crosse, where he was treated and released.

Ferrara faces reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct charges.

Here are some basic hints

Don't panic...

1. Lock the door.  While this may seem basic, this simple step could have prevented dude from getting stabbed up
2. Know the schedule of your girlfriend.  A simple call to the cell would have both been appreciated by her, and gives you an idea of when she will be back
3. DON’T MASTURBATE IN THE LIVING ROOM!  Again, common sense, but it seems that this guy didnt follow this simple rule.  It’s your business and no one wants to come home after a hard day’s work and see you doing that…
4. Pull up your shorts and run.  Why wait for her to get the knife?

The summer of crazy young chicks making the news continues…

Octomom channeling her Inner Rick Ross…”Everyday she Hustlin…”

It dont stop…

I know, and I just ate lunch and I am feeling a little quesy looking at the size of her belly.  She could make money renting our her womb for storage, or at least as an one bedroom in law apartment.

But, she is trying get her comeuppance.  Here is something that I think could make her some loot.

Or, not to be too disgusting, imagine having this in the bathroom of a porn theatre.  Free donors and you could have as many kids as you wanted…