All of these people have been giving Jose Canseco grief for years about steroids. There is some question on whether steroids will help you hit home runs or perform better in other sporting events. Some people have even thrown in that the hand eye coordination that is necessary to hit a ball is not helped by getting shots in the ass.
Well, we here at Too Old have come up with the magical solution to hitting home runs, and it doesn’t require a shot in the backside ( maybe a finger five hole Ronin?) and expensive drug treatments. The mystery to hitting homeruns can be found in a Kevin Bacon like small web. (And who really doesn’t love Bacon…not the actor, but actual Bacon? Sorry for the side discussion, but it is morning and bacon is super gangster tight…) Jose started banging out the material girl and look what happened.
There is some credibility about Madonna and the Magic Box. I am anxiously awaiting the Magic Stick remix, with Little Kim, 50 and Madonna. I think it could be a classic summertime certified club banger…
Look at the Worm. Before Madonna, he was just a hardnosed rebounding/defensive specialist. After Madonna, he became the Worm, the unstoppable party force that rebounded during the games and then took others leftovers at night.
How good must the coochie be, to
- Dissolve your marriage
- Lose out on endorsements, since you are not the clean cut pitchman everyone thinks you to be
- Pre-nup that will be gone over with a fine tooth comb by a lot of lawyers that will cost you more than the pre-nup, and there is a chance that you philandering will cost you more.
- Only be 32 and fight tooth and nail for a woman that is 50. Now, to be clear, I had a crush on the Material Girl as well ( and the amount that she got around, there has to be a chance that I slept with her too, since everyone you slept with, you are sleeping with their other partners as well… and we know she had a lot, so my luck is pretty good) but I was a teenager and she was, well in the 1980’s…
AROD, bring your black card, cuz this is going to be an expensive party…
I know that it is the hottest topic in all of the tabloids but I’m already sick and tired of hearing about this, just proves that there is no good news out there apparently and people just have to thrive off of famous peoples lives.
If anyone comes across those Jose Canseco pixxx, please send.