Sir Charles, when will you learn?

If you are as avid a basketball fan as we are at Too Old then you’ve heard your fair share of Charles Barkley providing color commentary during pre-game and halftime shows on TNT. Depending on how much you watch, there’s a decent chance you’ve also heard him discuss his gambling problems and his estimate of $10 million in losses to Vegas casinos.   Given his propensity for “poor luck” at the tables, one would think perhaps he might have learned by now to enjoy some of the alternative forms of entertainment in Sin City.   Sadly, it appears that he still has not learned his lesson. The Los Angeles Times reported today that Barkley may face felony charges if he does not pay a debt totaling $400,000 to the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas.  Oh, Chuck, when will you learn?

As I’m sure you are aware, we here at Too Old are all responsible adults of legal drinking and gambling age.  We are also big fans of the state of Nevada, and Las Vegas in particular, however, we manage to enjoy responsible, debt-free trips to Vegas on budgets dwarfed by the spending power of Sir Charles and his NBA/TNT/T-Mobile loot.  In this vein, I have assembled a short list of suitable, less likely to result in felony charges, non-gambling attractions for Barkley (or any potential visitor) to consider the next time he (or you and your crew) ventures into the city of sin:

1. Hit up a Gentleman’s Club – nothing hits the spot after a long, hot day on the strip like some nice topless dancers.  Vegas has so many clubs to chose from that it’s difficult to advocate for only one, so we at Too Old suggest trying out several to see what catches your fancy.  I recommend Cheetah’s, The Olympic Gardens, and the Crazy Horse Too.

2. Get your dance/drank on – Perhaps all that rump-shaking at the strip club has energized you to get out there, toss a few back and cut a rug with some women that might actually go homw with you at the end of the night.  Las Vegas has some of the best clubs/bars in the world.  Just grease the bouncer at the door and you may be able to slip in and mingle with the elite.  Try the Ghost Bar at the Palms, The Rum Jungle at Mandalay Bay, or Pure at Caesars Palace.  If your soiree at the strip club ran real late, perhaps you should try hitting up an after-hours spot.  I suggest Drai’s.

3. Enjoy a day of recreation – there are plenty of tourist attractions in the greater Las Vegas area that lack that element of sin but still promise a good time.  Lake Mead is a short drive away (about 30 minutes) and offers great fishing, boating and other water related activities.  There are a variety of golf courses in the area, including one open at night.  And of course, there’s always the good old Hoover Dam.

Whatever your particular interests are, Vegas has plenty to offer.  So if you are a bit irresponsible with your finances, perhaps you should stay away from the tables and put your money towards something with more tangible rewards…