Sick of this “New York is so cool” CRAP.

New York City Sucks!!!

I’m sick of people telling me New York City is soooo “cool”. This has got to end. New York City is completely over rated. But for some reason anytime New York comes up in a conversation everyone goes crazy with stories of how “awesome”, “cool”, or “cultured” it is. These people “just love them some New York”. They can never get enough. People will bore you to death with their stories of how fabulous their last trip was. How they just loved the “Opera”, or “Museums”, “Art Galleries”, “Cafes”, or “Resturants”. They talk as if NYC has a monopoly on everything cool and cultured. Yet as someone that has lived and worked in New York I can honestly say it really “SUCKS”. What I can’t understand is how the city ever got such a positive reputation. O.K. New York is a huge city, and has a little bit of everything/everyone. And it has seen a drop in crime the last decade. And you don’t always fear for your life riding the subway or out at night these days. But trouble does still finds you in NY whether you like it of not. Just minding your own business in NY can
still get you mugged, stabbed, or shot in any part of the city.

If you really want to know about New York talk to someone that grew up there and now lives where you live. Ask them why did you move? Grill them on it. Don’t let them off easy if they begin with the “NYC is great” routine. They will break. Trust me they will and when they sense that you know the truth and they can’t Bulls–t you any longer they WILL let loose with NYC hatin’ vemon.

You see New Yorkers secretly hate NYC. But are more than willing to ride the bandwagon and reap the benefits that go along with everyone else in the country lovin it. Inside they are thinking what a “SAP” you are for thinking the dump of a city they grew up in is C & C or “cool” and “cultured”. I know guys that get LAID for just saying they are from NYC.

Don’t be this guy. But he’s on to something.

If you really want to earn a New Yorkers respect talk “SHIT” about their city. Take note that this is best done outside NYC and to New Yorkers that have moved. Don’t insult NYC within the city limits or to people that can’t form full sentences, or use the word “YO”. And for Non New Yorkers let it all spill out. Don’t let up. And as soon as the conversation begins look them straight in eye and say “What are you crazy? NYC SUCKS”. If they don’t back down then find a New Yorker in the room and have them join your side.

Here are some topics you might want to bring to the debate.

1. The weather. Nuff said. Well, maybe not. Who wants to live in snow or wants humid hot summers. NYC has maybe 2 weeks out the year that are nice. One in the spring and one in the fall. Every other time stinks.

2. Too many people. The subway is fast, and convienet but not during rush hour. During these hours you are packed in like Sardines. Which wouldn’t be so bad but not everyone has the same hygine standards nor amorous impulses, nor self control. Mind the urine in the seats on the subway. Or the perverts grabbing body parts if you are a woman. Elevators, Starbucks, Bagel & Sandwich shops also SUCK during rush hour. Expect to wait in a long LINE.

3. Bathrooms. None. For such a big city where are all the bathrooms. Upon visiting a new neighborhood in NYC the first thing I would do is find out where I could relieve myself if I had to. Whether that was an alley, a park, or a restaurant. Didn’t matter!!!

4. Rude People. People are rude in NYC. Just plain ASSH–ES sometimes. Probable because of #2. Non New Yorkers think this is C & C. But NYers know the truth. Some move just to get away from this.

5. Too many stupid people. Stupid is fine in most places e.g. the south, strip clubs, or even san diego, but in NYC you add violence. This is a bad combo. Hence Guidos. There’s no debating or reasoning with these people. They will split your skull in a NY minute over the most trivial of topics. Sports, Pizza, Music even First Names. I dare you to walk into any Pizzeria in Staten Island and say “A-Rod is better than Jeter”. In a city full of “culture” there are a lot of stupid, rude violent people.

6. Status. Status is everything in NYC. If you are poor you hang with poor. If you are rich you hang with rich. If not you are a poser. No exceptions. Same goes for Eastside v Westside, Uptown v Downtown. Manhattan v Jersey, e.g.

7. Rats. I dare you to walk past a Sabaro at night and kick the garbage bags out front. Also Roaches, Dirt, and Trash. But still a great city. Right???

8. Too expensive. “What am I paying for.” This is what NYers ask themselves all day and night. The food, drinks, apartments, taxis all cost too much. And plus everyone has their hands out for a tip. Waiters, Bartenders, and Taxi are O.K. But bathroom attendants & doormen? What? Just do your job. But you end up tipping them also.

9. Racism. Its practically Institutionalized in NYC. “Old School” racism?. Its soooo open in NYC thats its not even “OLD SCHOOL”. Its in your face always. People “add you up” in a split second and its a struggle to get good service and treat you well ( see #4, #5, #6) that its not even worth it. So if you are a person of color expect to be treated like crap unless they find out you have $money$. Then the service MAY change because they want a nice $tip$.

Geting a Taxi. Its no joke for blacks. You won’t get one. And if the driver momentarily forgets his racist nature and stops anyway. Don’t grab the handle because the driver will come to his senses and drive off with your arm. My advice get a Metro Card.

10. The Hamptons.