Can I Get a Witness?: America’s Inability to Give a Black Man a Break.

The AP reported on Thursday that former Falcons QB (and the most famous person ever to serve a 23 month stint at Leavenworth) Michael Vick received a devastating court order from a Federal Judge:

U.S. Magistrate F. Bradford Stillman requires Vick to pay $2.4 million, plus $499 in interest per day, starting Sept. 19, 2007, and the bank’s attorneys’ fees and costs of $11,950 plus interest.

He’s already serving 23 months in federal (pound me in the ass) prison. You really have to pat this man’s pockets? Again? Now some of you crunchy ass granola eating Canadians are gonna say “hey he tortured dogs, this is the least we should do.” But as the Too Old’s resident Vegan (that point only demonstrating I probably give a bigger shit about animal rights than you do), I’m here to officially call you a racist jerk. Seriously, did you not see this:

Yeah that’s, Eight Belles right after breaking both of her ankles at the Kentucky Derby. Some people have tried to defend equestrians and horse racing for a long time, but let’s face it THEY KILLED THIS HORSE ON THE TRACK.

But I digress. My original plan was just to literally hijack a bunch of PETA talking points which cite the fucked up things most of us do to animals and post them here to read (there’s also some great information offered by by the folks at GoVeg.com. But I don’t need to do that. We here at Too Old truly believe that our readers are smart enough to know that the places their food (yes, even the “organic” and “free range” manifestations), clothing, and entertainment on the tevees isn’t derived from some magical kingdom. I dare one of you, literally any warm body on the entire internets, to defend the claim that dog fighting is uniquely worse than most of the other legal animal cruelty practices we preach. I’m not really defending Vick here, i’m just saying when i say its a shame that the Feds (and Jesus hating Canadians) are unjustly sticking it to the man, don’t disagree with me as you slurp down your extra foamy double cream mocha latte fraappuccino while eating a god damn turkey bacon club. You fucking asshole.